I’m feeling extreme guilt

Question:

I feel extreme guilt for past sins. Sins that most would count as minor. Breaking the law whether intentional or not … not confessing to things I know about from years ago, breaking rules at home, work, friendship-wise, etc. It’s the wee hours of the morning, and I feel terrible thinking how horrible of a person I am. I feel like I can’t be saved until I confess every crime, rule, and vow I’ve broken or committed. I just feel like, how can I be saved if I’m a sinner without eating my salvation first.

Answer:

"I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, so that you might not suffer loss in anything through us. For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter" (II Corinthians 7:9-11).

Sorrow and guilt are not bad things, but if you simply sit there and wallow in them then they are unproductive and destructive.

Notice what you are doing. You've set up for yourself an impossible task -- one that is never asked for by God -- and then wallow in your misery that you can't accomplish what you made up. If you want freedom from sin, it is not through methods that you make up. You have to do it God's way because He alone can grant forgiveness.

Since you know you were bad in the past, change so that you are no longer that person. "But if the wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed and observes all My statutes and practices justice and righteousness, he shall surely live; he shall not die. All his transgressions which he has committed will not be remembered against him; because of his righteousness which he has practiced, he will live. 'Do I have any pleasure in the death of the wicked,' declares the Lord GOD, 'rather than that he should turn from his ways and live?'" (Ezekiel 18:21-23).

As God told the Israelites:

"For this commandment which I command you today is not too difficult for you, nor is it out of reach. It is not in heaven, that you should say, 'Who will go up to heaven for us to get it for us and make us hear it, that we may observe it?' Nor is it beyond the sea, that you should say, 'Who will cross the sea for us to get it for us and make us hear it, that we may observe it?' But the word is very near you, in your mouth and in your heart, that you may observe it" (Deuteronomy 30:11-14).

See:

Question:

I guess I just feel that sometimes I may not have anxiety. Maybe I’m just a bad person for not following the law perfectly. I compare myself to others and think “What would this person do? Maybe I’m the only one who has failed in this area.“ Then I see signs that say “It’s the LAW! If you know of anything now or from the past you MUST report.“ It feels like I’m in a constant state of sinning until I report to the law. I’m not a terrible person but I haven’t always done the right thing or have been a coward in the past. I don’t know how to let the guilt go. I think I have scrupulosity.

Thank you.

Answer:

Perhaps you do. There isn't enough here for me to decide. However, the fact is that no one is perfect. When you read the Bible you find every one of the major characters involved in sin at some point in their lives. The message of God isn't about whether you have sinned but whether you are willing to leave your sins behind. Look at Ezekiel 18:21-23 again.

Question:

Thank you.

What does it mean to leave sins behind?

  • If I broke the law and drank alcohol as a minor but stopped, did I still not break the law?
  • Or if I lied to my mother and never confessed to her but stopped lying, did I leave my sins behind?
  • If I witnessed a crime and was obligated to tell and didn’t, how do I leave my sins behind when I still never confessed to the crime I witnessed?

I guess my point is in all these is: Would leaving my sin behind require confessing first to sort of undo my wrong?

Answer:

There is an aspect of repentance where we try to minimize the harm caused by our sins. See What is repentance? Not everything is repairable, so let's look at your examples:

  • Drinking as a minor was wrong. The harm was to yourself -- that is why the law exists. You stopped and there isn't anything else necessary. There is no requirement to report yourself by the government or in the Bible.
  • Lying is wrong. If your mother is acting on something as if your lie was the truth, then you need to tell her so she doesn't harm herself because you lied to her. But if the lie is merely something forgotten in the past, then there is no need to bring it back up. If your mom ever tells you, "You're such an honest boy!" Then it would be appropriate to say, "I wasn't always honest with you. I've changed, but I regretted lying to you."
  • Not reporting a crime is something different. By not saying anything, you've allowed the criminals to escape and probably continue their life of crime. By not saying anything, you caused the victims not to receive justice. I don't know if you are talking about witnessing a bank robbery or a friend stealing a pencil. Here something might need to be done because a Christian is to be on the side of justice.

The point is that once you've changed, you need to stop fretting over the past. Do what needs to be done and then move on. The apostle Paul was once involved in murder, but he changed. He didn't spend his life trying to punish himself for his past. He sought to show gratitude to God by serving Him. "I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because He considered me faithful, putting me into service, even though I was formerly a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent aggressor. Yet I was shown mercy because I acted ignorantly in unbelief; and the grace of our Lord was more than abundant, with the faith and love which are found in Christ Jesus. It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all" (I Timothy 1:12-15).

Question:

I guess that last part about the crime one is what gets me. Because of my extreme thinking, I know some things aren’t major, but the thinking that my salvation is dependent on something or if I do or don’t do something is my fear.

Answer:

It seems to me that instead of fretting over the matter, make the changes necessary to be living according to God's Word.

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