If we can’t get married, we will commit suicide
Question:
My age is 25 years old. I love a woman. She has two boys. We both are ready to get married, but she has not been separated from her husband. She is drinking alcohol every day and at home. Even when she had a baby in her womb, her family had killed them. I cannot see this. I want to give happiness to those who are ready to keep two boys, but if you are willing to marry, then please give me the right advice; otherwise, we will both commit suicide.
Answer:
I was not able to understand your note. You mentioned suicide, but that is never a solution to any problem. You can't change things when you are dead. "But for him who is joined to all the living there is hope, for a living dog is better than a dead lion" (Ecclesiastes 9:4).
These are the facts I gathered from your note:
- You want to marry a woman who already has two boys in her current marriage
- She is still living with her husband, having neither separated from him nor divorced him.
- She is an alcoholic, drinking daily (though I think you meant to say her husband is an alcoholic).
- She has had other children, but they were aborted due to pressure from her family.
Now with these facts, you and she killing yourselves does nothing for the boys. They will still belong to their father. If he dies, they will go to the nearest relative. This does not mean their lives will be better. More likely it will be worse knowing that their mother killed herself over a man she was committing adultery with.
She is not able to marry you because of her adultery with you. "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery" (Luke 16:18). There is only one exception, and that only comes into play if she divorced her husband because he was committing adultery (Matthew 19:9). That is not what is happening in this case.
You cannot solve this woman's problems. You cannot make her life better by having sex with her. You cannot give her children a good home by being the man she commits adultery with. The fact that you are considering suicide shows that you are not thinking clearly, since that route also creates far more problems for the ones you are imagining you would be helping.
If I understood the situation clearly, my advice is that you leave this woman immediately. She is manipulating your emotions and causing you not to think clearly. She is doing so for selfish reasons. I know you think you love her and that she loves you, but what you are describing is not love.
