I want to marry a godly man, but I seem far from it


Hello and praise the Lord!

I normally don't do this but I am in need of help.

First I am a born-again believer and have been living for God for over a decade. My issue is this: I gave my life to Christ early twenties and from that point on I vowed to save myself for marriage even though I'm not a virgin. At first, it was hard and I made some bad choices, but I kept pressing for the mark of that high calling and I got the victory and grew closer to God.

But about several months ago I met a guy that isn't a Christian. Now I have been praying for a godly husband and for God to help me to be a holy woman whom a godly man would want, but since I let this guy into my life, my morals have slipped. We have gone too far -- fondling, and sleeping in the same bed although we didn't have sex. I was wrong for allowing it, I know.

I really want to be married and have a godly family but that seems very far from me. After praying a crying out to God about my sinful ways, I realize that my desire for a mate has become my idol -- which is sin, which causes me to do more sinful things to get what I want, which never works.

Will God forgive this? I try really hard to keep my life pure. For a long time. I was doing good, but lately, I've messed up badly. How can I be delivered from this? I thought I was, but clearly, I have not been.

Thanks and God bless you!


God forgives all sins that are repented of (I John 1:9; II Corinthians 7:10-11; II Peter 3:9).  Repentance means both changing your mind about your sin and changing your behavior. This would mean that you must stop the sexual activity with this man. Sexual behavior is only for your husband.

You cannot get a man to marry you by giving him everything without commitment. There has to be a reason for a man to want to marry you. One is that then he can have sex with you, but there is more. He realizes he wants your companionship. But if sex gets involved before marriage, then the relationship is all about sex and the man never really comes to know you as a person.

Whether you are saved from sin depends on whether you have followed what God commanded. See: What Must I Do to be Saved? If you did as God commanded, you were freed from sin (Romans 6:3-7), but that doesn't mean you cannot fall back into the trap of sin. You let down your guard (I Corinthians 10:12).

If you are looking for a godly husband, why are you dating a man who doesn't follow Christ? Your actions need to be consistent with your stated goals.


Thank you for your response.

I know I have to end things with this person. I guess I'm dating him because I am lonely, and I have never met a man who is saved. He was just a random guy I met who helped me out in a jam. He seemed nice at the time. I know being alone is better for me than going against God's Word and being involved with an ungodly man.

Thank you again for your response.

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