I told my fiance the truth and he left me. Now, what do I do?
Question:
I was going through your website and came across a testimony of how God restored a relationship. I am going through the same phase in life right now, and I need your guidance and advice. I was supposed to get married in a few months but everything got called off because of my lie. I lied about many things and couldn't come clean right from the start because I was introduced to him with a false status and introduction. I tried coming clean to him many a time as a friend but I was scared to confess because of the thought of losing him. Eventually, we fell in love and got very close to each other. We truly love each other but to cover one lie I lied so many times and to end something I ended up lying again. I was very guilty although I tried to open up many times but just couldn't. Finally, before everything was fixed for the wedding I came clean and confessed everything which was a lie. But the person I was with him, the love we shared, and the good times we had were all me and our love. He is completely shattered and does not trust me anymore. He said, "I respect you because you came clean before marriage so we shall remain as friends." But he does not talk to me or answer my calls nor respond to emails.
I miss him so much. He was an honest man and loved me to the core. He fought for me with his relatives for this marriage and look what I have done. I am praying for a miracle, and I know God will restore this relationship. He is hurt really bad and says no matter what you say I can never trust you. What do I do? How do I work this out?
Please Advice and pray for the restoration of this relationship.
Answer:
You claim that your relationship was one of love, but it wasn't. The definition of love is "rejoices in the truth" (I Corinthians 13:6). You said it was all you, but it never was. He loved the person you pretended to be, and you did not love him because you acted solely out of selfish motives. This was all about what you wanted. It still is this way.
He is correct that he cannot trust what you say because of your many lies. In addition, he had defended what he now knows are lies to his relatives. Thus, you have undercut his reputation for honesty. His only choice was to end the relationship.
I don't know what the future holds. I do know that you have a lot of growing up to do. You have to give up all lying. If a person doesn't like you for who you are, then they aren't worth your time. You need to understand that all liars don't enter heaven (Revelation 21:8), so it is past time to become a true Christian woman.
