I suggested a plan for overcoming sexual sin, but my girlfriend wants to take a break
Question:
Hey,
My girlfriend and I have been struggling with sexual sin. We've been praying for God to help us. I suggested a plan for us to get better:
- We should both ask God and each other for forgiveness individually.
- Read Psalm 38 together, thinking about each verse and writing down our thoughts.
- List all the bad things in our relationship (red flags) that have been causing us to fall and make it hard to follow God.
- List all the good things (green flags) that can help us stay strong.
- Read Psalm 32, think about each verse, and write down our thoughts.
- After we do all this, we can discuss what we learned, decide what to do next, and establish boundaries based on our findings.
We had another assignment. We were supposed to write about everything that has happened in our relationship since we started this journey, how we each felt during and after sin, and how we are feeling now. We were also to pray for healing and read Psalm 51 together.
But my girlfriend said God is telling her to take a break, and she's not ready to do the above-said plan. I feel sad because God's commands should bring peace and joy in our hearts, but this is just causing problems and pain.
Answer:
Your plan is a good start for investigating why the two of you fell into sin. Whether it would work depends on what you conclude and what you implement to prevent the sins from repeating.
Since prophecy has ceased (I Corinthians 13:8-10), your girlfriend's claim that God is telling her to break up is a falsehood. She claims her feelings are coming from God to give more authority to her decision. She feels that this will keep you from arguing with her as much. She should have admitted that these are her thoughts.
What is missing is why she came to this conclusion. It comes across that she has given up and doesn't want to try. However, unless she states why she is making this decision, you and I can only guess at her motives.
Yes, God's commands bring peace and joy. You broke those commands, which has led to the breaking down of your relationship.
Question:
Thank you so much.
Her claim is that God is commanding her to leave and to come back only when He says.
Answer:
Unfortunately, she is lying to herself and to you. Prophecy has ended. See: What is your proof that prophecy has ended? She is claiming that her own feelings and choices are from God to avoid taking responsibility for them. She can blame everything on God and not feel guilty. "Then the LORD said to me, 'The prophets are prophesying falsehood in My name. I have neither sent them nor commanded them nor spoken to them; they are prophesying to you a false vision, divination, futility and the deception of their own minds'" (Jeremiah 14:14). She cannot prove that her ideas came from God, though God in the past gave evidence when He spoke through the prophets.
Though she is blaming God, understand that this is her choice. You can't force her to make good choices. If she does not want to marry you, it is time to move on. Next time, do things God's way and leave sex for after marriage. Then you will not have as many problems.
Response:
Thank you so much for such amazing advice.
