I repented of the adultery I committed early in my marriage, but now I’ve been forced by my boss. Should I tell my husband?
Question:
Dear Minister,
I read your messages. I am a born-again Christian. I love the Lord.
But I have sinned. First I slept with a married man a few weeks before my marriage. I hated myself for this action and promised God a clean break, which I did.
Then two years into my marriage, my husband and I had terrible issues and this led me to talk to a man who nearly slept with me.
Now my boss and I have been involved twice. He pinned me down and forced his way.
I hate what I've done and feel I don't deserve this good man. Should I tell him what I have done? I have an infant and I don't want to lose my marriage.
Confused woman!
Answer:
There is nothing confusing here. You committed adultery shortly after your marriage. You almost committed adultery a second time as a way of getting revenge against your husband. More recently you've had sex twice with your boss and at least one of those times was a case of rape.
I am assuming that you did not invite what happened with your boss, so there would not be a reason to be ashamed. What I don't understand is why you did not report the rape. Yes, you should tell your husband about the rape. It might mean that you will need to change employers, but that is better than working with a man who cannot be trusted.
The incidences in the past were wrong, but you seem to have turned away from adultery. Bringing up these events would not help the current situation.
Question:
Dear Minister,
Thank you for your advice. I told my husband about it, but he took it the wrong way. He packed and left and is threatening divorce. He said it was my fault and that he knew I enjoyed it; otherwise, I should have told him. I know that telling him was the right thing to do. I love him, but I live in a country where rape is a woman's fault. In all sincerity, even though I know I had allowed my simple heart to trust my boss, I had made up my mind to be holy and righteous before my Lord. I even started a blog where I counseled women on being God-fearing. I don't want my home to fall apart. We've been through hard times together. I can't bear to lose him.
Answer:
I'm sorry that your husband only wants to believe the worse about you at the moment. Hopefully, he will calm down and realize the real problem is with your boss. Stick to living your life in accordance with what God has said and in the long run it will become better.
