I lied about my virginity to keep my boyfriend. What do I do now?
Question:
I have been in a relationship before, but it didn't end well. My heart was broken from that moment. I felt miserable.
But this nice Christian guy came into my life. He is very nice and he takes me to church. I started to know more and more about God. God healed all the pain and sadness I had. He did away with all my tears. All the pain I had from the past all my sins have been washed away. But one thing that can't be taken back is the virginity that I had given to my ex.
My boyfriend asked me before we started to date if I am a virgin, like himself. I told him that I am not a virgin and almost everything about my past. At first, he told me that it was OK. He can accept my past. Everything seemed to be OK, but then as our love grew stronger, he began to change his point of view. He said that he love me so much that he wanted to marry me, but he wanted the woman who was going to be his future wife to be pure also. I am not. He kept asking about what happened and how did I ended up doing it with my ex. He wanted to know almost every detail.
To be honest with you, before I came to know Christ, I was a sinful person. I mean I didn't go around and sleep with whoever, but I did it with my ex. He was my first, and I thought that he would be my last. I did everything I could to keep the relationship, but it didn't work. He always brought that up and it made me feel bad about myself, but he told me that he doesn't want to end this relationship. I can't go back to change anything. This makes me feel like I am a slut that I gave it to my ex and did not wait until marriage.
So I chose to lie to him instead by saying that I wanted to test if he really love me or not and that I didn't really lose my virginity to my ex. I felt very bad about not telling the truth, but he can't accept my past. What should I do? Please help. I love him so much, and I don't want to lose him.
Answer:
"But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death" (Revelation 21:8).
You don't fix problems with sin. Telling your boyfriend a lie to get him to accept you was just as bad as your past sin of fornication.
Now your boyfriend will never know whether he can trust you because he won't know if you are lying or not. The best you can do now is apologize for lying. Explain that you lied because you were tired of his questions, which you now realize was not the proper way to handle this problem.
The problem your boyfriend is having is jealousy and you've been feeding it by telling him all the details about your sins. Instead, you should have said that you sinned in the past, but no more. You have left the past behind, which is one reason he is your ex-boyfriend. Either he accepts who you are, or he doesn't. But you can't change the past just to please him.
What you should tell him is that if he isn't interested in marrying you, then let you know because you don't want to wait around for an impossible dream. If he does want to marry you, then he too must leave the past in the past.
