I know God has been keeping me with my boyfriend, so am I wrong to stay?
Question:
Praise the Lord, I'm an 18 years old Christian girl and am dating a Muslim boy who's 22 years old now. We have been in a relationship for two years now. We are deeply in love and are planning to get married after two years when I am done with my college.
About my relationship with God: I pray every day before going to bed and I make sure I read the Bible as well. I know that God loves me a lot because I can feel it. He answers basically all of my prayers and I love him with all my heart. I don't go to church that often, but I do go to prayer meetings once every week if my mom does. In the last few days, I've gotten to know a lot more about heaven and hell, and I know I'm a sinner even though I pray. I'm not a virgin and I lie a lot. I've had a really bad past including alcohol, sex, parties, etc. but ever since I met my boyfriend my life has changed completely. From being bad he made me go good. I consider him as a blessing from God for me to change, I truly believe that! I want to be in the Book of Life and rejoice with my Lord after death for eternal life.
But I don't believe I can enter heaven because I've sinned and never repented. I'm willing to repent but does that mean losing the love of my life? I can avoid sex! But is kissing a sin? Is dating a Muslim a sin? Please answer me. I am really worried and I don't want to jump to conclusions.
I know that the Lord is happy with my relation -- that's what I think because every time we fight and breakup, I break down to God and the Lord always makes sure we are back together in no time. I've always felt like God's always been there for me whenever I needed Him, and I've never had such a long relationship with a guy.
Please help me find a solution!
Answer:
I don't think I can show you a solution because you made a god of your feelings. You never look to God and His teachings (found in the Bible) to learn what you need to do to be righteous and to please him. You merely assume God is pleased because you are pleased. So who, then, controls your life?
You seem to be saying that you have been committing fornication with this boy, but this isn't so bad because he has encouraged you to stop doing so many other sins, that continuing this one isn't so bad in your book. Notice too that you didn't change because you were wrong, you only changed to please your boyfriend. It doesn't matter that his book of laws is not those taught by God through Jesus.
You even know there are problems with your relationship. Not only do you not agree about religion, which apparently doesn't bother you and leads me to conclude that Christianity isn't important to you, but you often have fights and breakups. But it doesn't matter because you get back together.
You attribute this to God, but I can't see why you would reasonably conclude this. You are dating a man who believes the New Testament is wrong and that Jesus was just a man -- a great prophet, but still just a man. Why would God encourage you to date a man who would take you further from Him? If I understand your hints correctly and that you have been committing fornication with him, why would you assume that it is God who is keeping you together to sin? "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrew 13:4). God doesn't compromise with sin. "Therefore consider the goodness and severity of God: on those who fell, severity; but toward you, goodness, if you continue in His goodness. Otherwise you also will be cut off" (Romans 11:22).
As I said, the only way I can see you coming to these impossible conclusions is that you assume that your feelings are God's feelings and thus you have made a god of your feelings.
"But why do you call Me 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do the things which I say? Whoever comes to Me, and hears My sayings and does them, I will show you whom he is like: He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock. But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the stream beat vehemently; and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great" (Luke 6:46-49).