I had sex before with a different woman. Does that mean I’m committing adultery with the woman I am with?
Question:
Please. Please, I have many things I have to ask. A woman took my virginity, but it was only for a night. I'm with a different woman now and have been with her for five years. Is that adultery?
Answer:
Fornication is when you have sex with someone you are not married to. Thus, you committed fornication with the woman you first had sex with.
Adultery is when you have sex with someone who is married to someone else, or if you are married and you have sex with someone who is not your wife.
"Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).
Sex does not form a marriage. if it did, then there would be no fornication. God said, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). Notice the steps:
- A man leaves his parents.
- He is joined (married) to his wife.
- They become one flesh. They become a new family unit, which of course sex is a part of being one flesh.
We find that it is the wedding vows -- the marriage covenant -- that makes a marriage. "Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant" (Malachi 2:14).
If you are not married to the woman you are sleeping with for the last five years, then you have been committing fornication with her. If you are married, then you are committing no sin.
Question:
Isn't being committed to her and faithful to her in God's eyes marriage? Not the whole wedding vows with the ring and paperwork; that's of Satan.
Answer:
When it is God who says that marriage is established by a covenant, then it can't be from Satan. "And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:4-6). When a couple takes on a marriage covenant, it is God who joins them, not men, and certainly not Satan.
Marriages in the United States are not done through government. The closest you get is that you can have a justice of the peace perform the exchanges of vows if you so desire. The government provides a record of marriages that take place. Courts only get involved when people desire to break their marriage vows. Our government requires documentation that a marriage has taken place for a variety of reasons. There are only a few states left that recognize a common-law marriage, which is when someone wants to claim they are married without any record of the marriage. The greater majority of states have discarded their common-law rules because of the mess created by them. A record of a marriage is a part of the requirements for a covenant. See Marriage Covenants. A marriage covenant isn't established just because someone claims they are married.
God tells us to be obedient to the governing authorities. "Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves" (Romans 13:1-2). If our government requires a marriage license for those wishing to claim they are married, there is no harm caused by following that law. It does no harm to the marriage itself.
You are avoiding that "piece of paper" because it would serve as a witness to a commitment. Though you claim God as your witness, the fact that you don't want it recorded so that man can also see that a marriage has taken place tells me you have no long-term plans to remain committed to the woman with whom you currently live. You want to retain imaginary freedom to walk out whenever you decide you don't like how things are going. You don't want any evidence left behind that you had other intentions earlier.
The question is: Are you honest enough to admit that you are married in a verifiable way. Even in your own note, you appear to hesitate to call the woman you are living with your wife. This doesn't sound like a commitment to me. Truth is that the fornication you are currently in is of Satan.
Question:
Bible never says to obey the government because who is the god of this world? When Adam and Eve joined together did God say you will be joined by a ring? No, that's the custom of man that was started by Pope Gregory. What Bible do you follow?
Answer:
Would you like to try again? I quoted Romans 13:1-2, which I will quote again:
"Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves" (Romans 13:1-2).
"Remind them to be subject to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work" (Titus 3:1).
"Therefore submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake, whether to the king as supreme, or to governors, as to those who are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and for the praise of those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men -- as free, yet not using liberty as a cloak for vice, but as bondservants of God" (I Peter 2:13-16).
Nor do you read well. The "joined" in Genesis 2:24 is the marriage covenant (Malachi 2:14). The ring is not the covenant. Today we use the ring as a witness that a covenant has been entered into. That custom dates back about 3,000 B.C., so no, it was not created by a pope.
