I broke my promises to my boyfriend. Will God punish me?
Question:
I am a girl in my mid-twenties. I had a boyfriend for about five years. I was deeply in love with him. We almost regarded each other as husband and wife. We saw our future together. I cared for him a lot and he always supported me at all times. He took the best care of me. We had a very good understanding, and everything was perfect. We were close emotionally, as well physically, but never had sex. He respected me a lot in this.
However, this year I went abroad to study and became physically close to another boy. Slowly I developed emotional feelings for him as well. As we started spending more time with each other we realized we had faced a similar traumatic past.
However, all this time I betrayed my current boyfriend and the physical satisfaction with the other boy was so strong that I broke with my boyfriend. I do not love my boyfriend anymore now. I regret the moment I let myself go with the other man. If it had not happened, I would still have been in love with my boyfriend.
How will God punish me? My boyfriend is innocent and suffering because of me.
Yes, my parents also did not accept my relationship with my current boyfriend, but that was not the main reason for the breakup. The reason was my other relationship and the excitement of being in a new relationship.
The other boy is a good man but treats me only as a friend.
I feel very guilty for breaking all the promises I made to my boyfriend. I betrayed him just for a physical fling. Even though my parents wouldn't have ever agreed to my relationship with my boyfriend, I blame myself. My boyfriend misses me a lot; however, now I feel no love for him at all.
How will God punish me?
Answer:
Your choice of who you wish to date or marry is your own to make. Though your boyfriend is hurting, it seems that it was for the best since you were just toying with him anyway. After all, you claim you would not marry him, yet you made promises to him. You dumped him, broke your promises, and now you claim that you feel sorry for him. He wasted a lot of time on you, it seems.
God teaches that love is not an emotion. Love is a choice people make (I Corinthians 13:4-8). The choice generates emotions, but love isn't the emotion. You really aren't looking for love, you are only looking for someone to make you feel good. Since there are plenty of men willing to do that for you, you destine yourself to bounce from man to man search for the novelty of the experience. "Stolen water is sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant" (Proverbs 9:17).
I never know what people mean by getting physical without sex. But you should know that it isn't just sex outside of marriage that is sinful. See: How far can we go in touching each other?
Unless you straighten yourself out and start living as a Christian ought, your own life will end up being the beginnings of your punishment.
