How should the problem of child abuse be handled?
Question:
There exist two families: A and B.
Family A could not conceive a child, so the wife of Mr. A adopted two daughters of Mrs. B, who happened to be her younger sister. Mr. B, the father of the adopted daughters, isn't responsible at all. He neglected all his children whom he had with his wife, Mrs. B.
Mrs. A died a few years ago, leaving the daughters of Mrs. B living alone with her husband, Mr. A. This is where the problem lies: Mr. A has been sexually preying on the two daughters. Mr. A. is taking care of the two daughters though but he beats them and harasses them sexually. Though Mrs. B is aware of what is going on since day one -- that the man is lying with her daughters -- still she has told the children to endure it since there's no one else to care for them and since he's not having intercourse with them.
What is your advice on this matter? The daughter told her boyfriend all this because they are in love.
Can this daughter still be considered for marriage by her boyfriend? She said Mr. A hasn't had sex with her or her sister.
What is the solution to curb the sexual actions of Mr. A?
Is a white wedding sinful for this new boyfriend and girlfriend? Who should take the daughter to the altar as the father? Is it her biological father, who neglected them since birth, or the father who adopted her and sexually preys on her and her sister?
Does Mrs. B portray a good mother by telling her daughters to cope because Mr. A is still taking care of them?
What spiritual advice do you have for the two daughters and the boyfriend?
Thanks for your response.
Answer:
I'm going to assume that these families do not live in a country that actively protects children. If they are in a country that has laws against sexual acts by a parent, then the agency charged with protecting children should be immediately notified about the situation, so that the children can be moved to a safe environment. But if that is not an option, then is there a church that can provide homes for the children and get them out of this situation? If Mr. A is a member of a church, then the members of the church, who know about the situation, should confront him about his sin (Matthew 18:15-17).
The daughter can marry whom she wishes. Her past does not matter, so long as she had not been married before. There is no biblical requirement that those marrying must be virgins, though that is preferred because people should not sin. But even sinners can get married.
The wearing of white is a cultural tradition and has no meaning biblically. The presenting of the bride is also a tradition that shows the family's approval of the marriage, but this portion of the wedding can be skipped or a person whom the bride respects can do the presentation.
Mrs. B does not demonstrate the proper care that a mother should have for her children.
If the boyfriend and the daughter wish to get married, then that is fine. However, the boyfriend needs to make sure that he is marrying her because of his love for her and not because he desires to rescue her from her horrible family. If they do get married, the other sister should be invited to live with them if there is no other way to get her out of the home.
Question:
Wow. I was scrolling through my mail and across your feedback again, sir. I just want to use this moment to appreciate you for your response four years ago. It really matters and means a lot to me. I am not ungrateful sir. Permit me to wish you a Happy New Year for the four years we've missed exchanging pleasantries.
Answer:
I hoped the answer helped.
