How do I handle a daughter who decided to become a lesbian?
Question:
Brother,
I have been a member of the Lord's church since I was a teenager. I have always attended. I raised all of my children in Lord's church. My youngest daughter has rebelled ever since her Dad divorced me. She even married another girl!
She has pressed me to accept her as she strays farther and farther! She is going to a counselor and has become very hostile and rude, calling me by my name and not Mom! She says she wants nothing to do with my religion, as she calls it! It breaks my heart, but am I correct in having anything to do with her because of her lifestyle and lack of love for the Lord? Help me to see how to handle this the way the Lord expects. Please give me Scripture to use in explaining to others.
Answer:
The problem with sin is that each person has the free will to choose it, and too many choose the passing pleasures of sin over obedience to the Lord of Heaven.
"I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world. But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler--not even to eat with such a one" (I Corinthians 6:9-11).
Each of us has multiple ties to individuals. I assume that at one point your daughter had become a Christian, so she is also your sister in Christ. However, she has fallen deeply into sin -- so deep that she has completely turned her back on God. Because of her stubbornness, there isn't anything you can do or say to persuade her to return to God because she doesn't accept the Word that can save her. "For in the case of those who have once been enlightened and have tasted of the heavenly gift and have been made partakers of the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, it is impossible to renew them again to repentance, since they again crucify to themselves the Son of God and put Him to open shame" (Hebrews 6:4-6).
She knows she is in the wrong. That is why she is demanding that you give credibility to her sins by accepting them. But to accept them is to become sinful yourself. "And although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them" (Romans 1:32).
It is at this point that you'll have to be like the prodigal son's father in Luke 15:11-32. When his son insisted on leaving the safety of his father's home, the father did not stop him. He didn't chase after him. He clearly knew what had become of him because his brother mentions it (Luke 15:30). The father states that while his boy was in sin, he was dead to him (Luke 15:31). But when the son came back, leaving his sins behind, the father rushed out to greet him (Luke 15:20). His father met him more than half-way and raised him up beyond what his son expected.
It will be hard, but let your daughter know clearly that she is destroying her life and that you, as her mother, cannot watch the destruction, let alone approve of it. When she is ready to give Jesus her life, she can come back and the two of you can talk but until then, she is no longer a part of your life. Let her know that you'll treasure the memories of her youth and weep over what was lost.
It will be extremely hard, but it is all that you have left to make her see the severity of her decisions.
The Lord be with you and strengthen you.
