How do I deal with a husband who wants a divorce just to be alone?
Question:
I have a question. I have been with my husband for many years. We both believe in God, but he has not been wanting to pray with me lately. He also has been speaking about divorce. I don't want one. I asked him why does he want a divorce and he said he just wants to be alone, which doesn't make any sense to me. I don't know what to do at this point. I'm not signing divorce papers, giving him a separation or anything. What do I need to do as a wife and as a child of God?
I really need your help, please. Thank you and have a blessed day.
Answer:
Clearly, there is more motivating his desire than just privacy. But there is no easy way to determine what it is. One possibility is when a man feels that everything he does is criticized, he finds isolation comforting. "It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and vexing woman" (Proverbs 21:19). But without seeing the family dynamics, trying to come up with a reason is near impossible.
All you can do is be the best companion that you know how to be. "In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.
Your adornment must not be merely external -- braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God" (I Peter 3:1-4). If he chooses to leave, there is little you can do to stop him if he is determined. All you can do is wait until the issue is resolved.
"But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife. But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?" (I Corinthians 7:10-16).
Meanwhile, see if an elder or brother in Christ can talk to him about why he wishes to abandon his family.
