Question:

Good day,

My dad told me that he used to watch porn when he was a teenager. Recently, I spotted a 'free porn viewing site' on his phone. I don't know if I should do something about it. If I confront him I will either get the beating of my life, or I will never have a phone ever again.

Please, can you help me with this situation?

Answer:

The difficulty is due to the fact that you are under your father's authority, but you discovered that your father is involved in sin. This makes for an awkward situation because it typically is not right for a child to tell a parent what to do. Yet, at the same time, it cannot be ignored if you want your father to be a righteous man.

Therefore, keep in mind the goal. You cannotĀ make your father do what is right, but you can encourage him to improve.

In a private moment, simply tell your father that you accidentally stumbled across the "Free porn viewing site" on his phone and then mention that seeing it left you so disappointed in him. Then drop the matter. I suspect that the guilt will eat at him and cause him to change.

He might try to offer some justification. Don't argue with him. Just tell him that he doesn't need to justify his sin to you, God is the one watching. But also tell him that you are hoping that he will get rid of it and change.

Question:

This might sound hard to believe, but I have already told him about stumbling upon the website on his phone. He tries to change the subject by saying, "I don't know how this got here. Don't say I'm lying because I am not. It is because of Vskit, Instagram, etc. I honestly don't know how this got here."

I get so annoyed why he doesn't want to confess. Please I am scared of confronting him, and I have actually seen him watching it.

Please help.

Answer:

One of the difficult lessons every preacher learns is that you can teach people the truth, but you can't make people obey.

Your father is caught in the trap of pornography. He lies to cover up his sins. It isn't just the lies he tells you, he is also lying to himself. He doesn't want to face what has happened to him.

If you happen to see him watching porn, tell him that you really wish he would stop because you want to always look up to him. He will either try to change or he will just work harder at hiding his sin. Sadly, it must be his choice.

What I want you to focus on, instead, is learning lessons from this. You see just how addictive pornography is, so be all that more determined not to let it into your life -- no matter how curious you might get. Learn to be honest with yourself. When you sin, don't search for excuses. Instead, search for ways to stay out of sin.

One of the hardest lessons in life is when a child learns his parent is flawed like every other human being. It is hard to adjust to it. Dads are supposed to be the heroes in their children's lives. But every hero has his weakness. You've discovered your dad's. Don't hate him for it, but don't accept it either. Encourage him to grow.

Response:

Thank you very much.

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