How do I battle my foot fetish?
Question:
I hope I am talking to the right guy about this. I read a story of a guy who struggles with a foot fetish. I have the same problem. I am a born-again Christian who loves God and His law. I also have had an interest in female feet since I was 5 years old and only got worse when I got older. Then came the Internet where you can see pictures of female feet. I am a normal guy, but as you said, it's a different part of the female body. I do think it's a problem. I hate having this desire of the flesh.
I will say since I received Jesus Christ as my Savior it has helped me. My eyes were opened and the fetish became wrong to me. It hurts a lot on the inside. I don't want to hurt God or Jesus, or lose my salvation over it or lose things in heaven because of it.
God said He will never allow us to be tempted more than we can walk away from. I do walk away many times as the desire comes on, but I have to admit I do fail from time to time, like last night. I looked at some pictures on the web. Afterward, I felt terrible inside. I know that it's Satan's plan to make us feel guilty. I really do want this to be taken away from me. It's one of the worst things I still struggle with. A lot of the old sinful nature was gone right away, but this one is a problem because Satan knows it's one that I do give into sometimes.
I feel like I am going to have to battle this until I reach heaven, but it's a very scary thought. It's nice to know other Christians have this problem as well. What should a guy do? I have gone months before without looking at pictures of women's feet. It's hard though. Women are everywhere. Summer's coming up. I know I am going to have some problems.
When I fail or sin I ask Jesus to forgive me. I know we need to turn away from our sins. Like I said I can stay away from it for months but sometimes that makes the urge or desire stronger.
I also had a major masturbation problem as well. I am Catholic and they consider masturbation a mortal sin, so it's very scary. I use to masturbate every day -- sometimes three times a day. Now if I do it, it is good at first but afterward, I hurt so bad inside my soul, plus Satan throws the guilt thing at me. Some Christians say masturbation is normal and healthy for a man as long as you aren't lusting, but it's rare to masturbate without lusting. When I received Jesus the masturbation stopped for a while, but eventually, it came back. Very rarely I fall back into it.
Any help would be great or input on how bad a foot fetish is or looking at pictures of female feet. I can't wait until I am freed from this problem. I know I am saved by the blood of Jesus, but I don't want this burden.
Answer:
There are some aspects of your note that leave me puzzled. Claiming to be a "born-again Christian" and a Catholic is typically not done. It isn't critical to the issues you asked about, but it is critical to your salvation. What I would like you to do is look at What Must I Do to Be Saved? and study the passages brought up.
It doesn't matter what any religious group thinks or teaches. The only thing that matters is what God says on a particular matter. In regards then to masturbation, see Is masturbation unacceptable? and Is masturbation sinful or not?
You might have been fascinated by women's feet for as long as you can remember, but children are not sexual beings. It isn't until we reach puberty that we become aware of sex -- unless sex is forced on us. Boys might play with their genitals and some might even discover orgasm, but very few actually connect these things with sexual ideas. That changes as our bodies begin changing and we become aware of sexual feelings. It is very easy at that point to make the things we are fascinated by objects of our sexual desire.
See: What does the Bible say about having a fetish? for a definition of what a fetish is, but basically, if you can't get sexually aroused without women's feet being involved in some way, then you have a fetish. It is especially true if you reach a point where you would rather masturbate to images of women's feet than to desire to have intercourse with your wife.
I'm not going to repeat what I said in I was born with a foot fetish. Is that a sin? Instead, let's focus on breaking your pattern of lust. "Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts" (Romans 13:13-14). I'm assuming that you are not married since you gave no hint of a wife being in the picture.
The human body is built with many desires and they serve important purposes. You have a desire to eat, but if you overindulge in eating, then not only are you getting fat, but you are also heading down a path that can lead to gluttony. Since your adolescent years, you have had a desire for sex and that clearly can be overindulged. Sex is intended for marriage (Hebrews 13:4). The struggle men have is that their bodies need to ejaculate semen once in a while in order to function properly. The longer a man puts off ejaculating, the stronger his sexual desire rises until he feels like he is going nuts.
Somewhere along the way, you tied your interest in women's feet to sexual arousal. Each time you masturbated to images of women's feet, you strengthened that tie. Thus, what was meant to tie your sexual interest to your wife became tied to a part of a woman's body.
Many guys make the mistake of trying to break the habit by vowing not to ejaculate again. The problem is that their own body begins to fight against them as the need to ejaculate builds and eventually instinct takes over. When that happens, the body searches out the quickest known path to ejaculating, which means you fall back into the same old lusts.
Therefore, the solution is to acknowledge the fact that your body has needs. You need to eat, but you can control when, where, and how much you eat. You need to sleep, and you can control when that takes place. You need to ejaculate, and again you can control it if you don't totally ignore it.
The easiest way is to simply wait until the need to ejaculate is strong. Grant yourself a place to do it and only do it there. I would recommend the shower because you can't go looking for pictures in that wet place. Once you've taken care of the need, the desire to indulge in lust is easier to resist. In the process, you are changing what is often an indulgence of pleasure into a practical matter of taking care of a need. It isn't as "fun" but it doesn't lead you into sin.
Along the way, you can work on controlling your thoughts, keeping yourself out of old ruts of sin. It will be hard at first. The body tends to want to take the easiest path. But it can be done with some effort.
