How can I wait three years to get married?
Question:
I have been dating my boyfriend for two and a half years now. We are both Christians and both want and work toward a marriage. We believe sex belongs in a marriage and want to keep it like this until we marry.
I’ve come to a point where I want to get married because the sexual temptation is becoming too much. We talked about this together and he told me that he would like to get married too, but the circumstances do not allow us to do so, so why bother getting frustrated over it. We both don’t have permanent income and are in college. I can’t afford to have a job because school takes most of my time. He has some jobs once in a while but it’s always a one-time thing. I have two more years of school, he has three.
The other thing is that my parents think I am crazy to want to marry at this age and to my "only second boyfriend" (they’re not Christians). They would rather for me to have sex now than see me get married at 22. They think I would be throwing away my youth and ruining my life and be miserable for the rest of it.
I know what the Bible says about premarital sex and marriage, even "that it is better to get married than burn with sexual longing," but well ... but what does it say to do in a situation like this? When I am in the middle of these two opposite opinions, I get so frustrated and just want things to change! I don't know how to explain to my parents that a person is not ruining their life if they marry at this age. I am sure we will not have sex until we get married, but how long do I wait for something to happen? I can’t beg him to marry me when we don’t have any money, and I can’t go against my parents' wishes, I couldn’t even ask them to help us financially in the beginning so we could manage somehow. So I’m left here and I can’t do anything about it.
What do I do? I would be very thankful if you gave me some advice.
Answer:
"Love is patient ..." (I Corinthians 13:4).
As a Christian, there is no question. Fornication is a sin (Hebrews 13:4), so it isn't an option. Your only choices are to get married or to wait. Since you have decided that getting married is not an option, then your only remaining choice is to wait.
"I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the hinds of the field, that you do not arouse or awaken my love until she pleases" (Song of Solomon 2:7).
Since waiting is required, then you have to act like you are in this for the long term. You can't be doing things that stir up sexual passion and expect to be able to hold off. You can't be involved in sexual touching (I Corinthians 7:1) or sexual talk (Ephesians 5:3-7).
