How can I meet girls?

Question:

How can I meet girls?

Answer:

"He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD" (Proverbs 18:22).

I'm amazed how many young men I've met who put no effort into finding a spouse and then wonder why they remain single. "He who finds a wife ..." implies that the man is actively looking. You don't find your car in the parking lot by sitting at the entrance and waiting for it to drive up.

You have to execute a plan for locating a spouse. Your plan alone won't guarantee you success. The Lord has a hand in you coming across the right person. But like all things in life, God expects you to do your part. "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going" (Ecclesiastes 9:10). Therefore, the first step is to pray for help in finding a good wife.

Still, this means you will know a good woman when you met one. Even before you start looking for a wife, you should have a mental list of the character qualities you hope to find in your wife. I'm not talking about physical attributes. I'm talking about her personality, her character, and her abilities. What things are important to you? Perhaps you have no clue. In that case, you need to pull out your Bible and start learning what it is that makes some women better than others. The book of Proverbs is a good place to start, especially chapter 31. Pay attention also to characteristics that indicate that a woman would make a poor wife and so should be avoided. The best time to make this list is when there is no woman in your life who will cause you to skew your criteria to match her.

When looking for something, the logical approach is to look where that thing can be usually found. If you want a strong Christian woman for a wife, then look where strong Christian women tend to be -- i.e. at churches and church functions and not at bars. That means you have to get out and get involved in things that you like. If there is no one in your circle, then expand your circle. Go visit other places. Go do things in other regions.

Finally, consider yourself. Would the type of girl whom you would like to marry be interested in you? If you are looking for someone who is neat and a good homemaker, why would she be interested in a guy who dresses like a bum? If you are looking for a strong Christian woman, why would she be interested in a guy who only shows up for services once in a while? If you are looking for a woman who will be a stay-at-home mom, would she be interested in a guy who only makes minimum wage? In other words, while you are looking for a companion, spend just as much effort improving yourself to be attractive to the woman of your dreams.

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