How can a husband’s faith grow if his wife does not submit to his authority?


I want to express my appreciation for those behind this website. You are doing great work for the Lord. Now my questions:

  1. The problem of submissiveness: How can the husband grow in faith when his wife does not submit to his authority?
  2. Divorce: Does forgiveness means that we must go back to where we were before or things should fall back to how they were before?
  3. As a Christian home, how do we fail in our responsibility? At what point can it be said we have failed in our responsibility as a Christian home?

Thank you in anticipation.


The wording of your first question shows a misunderstanding of the relationship between a husband and wife in marriage. No one should force another person to submit. Even if they could manage the appearance of submission, the individual would not be submissive in mind. Thus, you do not find elders being told to make the church submit, but rather, Christians are told to submit themselves to the leadership of the congregation (I Peter 5:5). Elders are specifically told not to act as dictators (I Peter 5:3).  In the same way, you don't find husbands being told to make their wives submit to them but instead, wives are told to be submissive to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22). Submission has to be voluntarily chosen.

Whether a wife chooses to submit or not impacts her relationship with the Lord, but her lack of submission does not directly impact her husband's faith. What impacts a husband's prayers is whether he shows her honor (I Peter 3:7).

Forgiveness cannot erase memories, but when a person forgives another he is stating that he will attempt to treat the other person as if the sin had not occurred. Forgiveness is based on the repentance of the sinner (Luke 17:3-4). For example, you cannot treat another person as if they never committed adultery while they are continuing to have sex with other people. Unfortunately, too many people treat forgiveness as empty words.

Your third question is too vague. Technically there is no Christian home. There are Christians who make a home together by getting married.  Christians may fail to follow God's commands, which include instructions on how to be proper husbands, wives, and parents.

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