Do I need to walk away from this relationship?
Question:
Good afternoon,
I feel like I have backed myself into a corner and am not sure what I should do. About 15 years ago, I got involved with a married woman. As a result, she left her husband, and we have been living together (not married) ever since. A few years ago, she and I started having issues in our relationship. We simply do not get along.
It was around the same time that I felt convicted of what had transpired in her marriage and the lifestyle we now live. I understand that our union is not a marriage and is wrong, I understand I am an adulterer. I understand that she is still bound to her first husband (Romans 7). I have read Jesus' comments on divorce and remarriage in Matthew and Luke. Divorce and remarriage = adultery.
Am I correct in thinking that God wants me to walk away from this relationship? Or should I marry her after all this time if the relationship can be healed? I want to do what is right in the sight of God. I do not want to be one of those who do not inherit the kingdom of heaven because of my lifestyle. I feel like the only true repentance in this situation is to leave.
I would appreciate your insight into this.
Answer:
The only way you would be able to marry this woman is if her first husband died. Living together with her unmarried is both adultery and fornication. Marrying her would be adultery as well because she was the adulteress in her first marriage. "Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery" (Luke 16:18).
I'm glad you are finally starting to think about the eternal consequences of your actions, and I hope this is not just motivated by your desire to get out of this relationship.
