Question:

Good day!

I have a long time boyfriend. I’m a Christian, and he is not. That he is not a Christian is a big deal for me. Even though he has been my boyfriend for almost five years, I keep praying to God to give me a godly man. A man who is actively participating in church and a follower of the Lord. Because he is not a Christian, we always fall into sexual sins. I always pray to be freed from sexual immorality but after breaking up so many times, I think I’ve been a slave to sexual immorality. He also has characteristics that I don't really like, such as a hot temper. He is also a gamer. He didn't come to church with me because He doesn't want to.

Then one day, I accidentally met another guy, He is the perfect guy for me because of all of the qualities in him. He is very passionate, he always makes an effort to be with me, unlike my boyfriend. We traveled together. In short, he is husband material. I want to be his wife, which is no true with my boyfriend. And most importantly, he is godly and he is active in the church, but we attend different churches.

So after a month of getting to know this new guy, I decided to break up with my boyfriend because I wanted to know more about this new guy. Then I told my ex-boyfriend that the reason for breaking up was that I didn’t see myself being his wife.

After breaking up, my ex-boyfriend was very frustrated and depressed. He did everything to win me back. For him, our break up was the turning point of his life. He changed for the better. He read the Bible, he sought out God, he went to church. He uninstalled all the games because he said they were not helpful. He changed his attitude because he didn’t want to lose me. We prayed and read the Bible together.

So I decided to break up with this new guy and give my ex another chance. Besides, if I choose this new guy, we attend different churches, unlike my ex. He comes to church with me. he continued to pray and seek God to changed us and praying for this relationship to be God-centered.

But there is one question in my mind? Did I make the right choice? I am crying because I know I hurt this new guy. He is praying and patiently waiting for the right girl and he thought it was me. I hurt his feelings. I cried every night and asked God if I really made the right choice because after getting back with my ex we sin again.

Answer:

What I see in your note is a woman who claims to be religious while living a life that is contrary to Christ's teachings. It didn't bother you that your boyfriend was not a Christian because you were involved in sin with him. "Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God" (Galatians 5:19-21). Not only were you involved in fornication, but you were also involved in the sins that lead to fornication, such as lust, sexual touching, and sensuality (or lewdness). "Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts" (Romans 13:13-14).

Yes, your boyfriend became more religious than he used to be, but he is imitating your casual disregard for Jesus' commands. That is why you two went back into sin.

This really isn't a matter of whether you should pick man A or B. The biggest issue is whether you are going to get serious about being a Christian or not.

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