Can you help me understand I Corinthians 7:12-16 and how it applies in a situation?
Question:
I appreciate the content posted on your website. It has been very helpful in studies, for clarity and explanation on several occasions, and in discussions I've been involved in.
I have a question I couldn't quite find an answer to, though, and I was hoping you could provide some insight.
My brother is married, but his wife left him over five years ago. He has been living alone since and has struggled with the situation financially, mentally, and most importantly, spiritually. His wife stopped going to church and has led their two daughters away from God. My brother has not sought a divorce, feeling he has no grounds, and the preacher at his church has not encouraged it. He also feels that if he does divorce her, he can not marry another as we all believe, except for adultery, one can not remarry (Matthew 19:9).
I struggle with fully understanding I Corinthians 7:12-16. Mostly, the part in verse 15 where it says that the "brother or sister is not under bondage." Is this referring to the "bondage" of marriage? If he were to leave (divorce) his wife, would he be free to remarry? I acknowledge that it doesn't specify and that we are not allowed to interpret this to fit our own needs or desires. However, is it assumed that in these cases, by necessary inference, those in this position would be allowed to take another spouse? I also acknowledge that Paul is making a point that "he (Paul) and not the Lord" is saying this, but I have trouble grasping the full meaning of these verses.
He has no evidence that she has committed adultery. He was advised that it is sinful to hire an investigator to find out and follow her so that he can get closure. Frankly, I don't agree with this part. He is a very co-dependent person, which makes his struggles even more difficult. Also, he just lost his house because he could no longer make the payments, and his daughters do not have much of a relationship with him anymore due to his faith and the situation between him and his wife. I can sense that his faith is growing weaker because of this strain, and I, along with others from his congregation, continue to encourage him. Still, like anything else, it's hard to understand unless we are walking in his shoes.
Sorry for the long-winded question, but I was trying to give a complete picture. Please help me understand 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 better and if it applies to my brother's situation.
Thank you, and God bless you and your work.
Answer:
Paul has additional instructions for Christians who are married to unbelievers. "But to the rest I say, not the Lord" (I Corinthians 7:12). This a topic that the Lord had not covered while he was here on earth, yet the message is no less the words of God as they were words delivered through Paul (I Corinthians 2:12-13).
Paul said, "A brother or sister is not under bondage." The word here is for slavery. Marriage is never viewed as a form of slavery in the Bible. There is a subtlety lacking in our English translations that appears in the Greek. When Paul said, "not under bondage" or "is not in slavery," the phrase is in the perfect indicative tense in Greek. That tense states something completed in the past that continues to impact the present. In other words, Paul said the brother or sister didn't become a slave in the past when he or she married and so does not have to act as a slave presently. Since marriage is not a form of slavery, a Christian is not forced to keep a marriage going when the non-Christian wants to leave. To do so would cause discord, but God called us to peace.
This doesn't imply that the Christian whose non-believing spouse abandons him or her has the right to remarry. The general rule found in I Corinthians 7:10-11 remains. A husband or wife is not to end their marriage in divorce. However, if there is a divorce, they must remain unmarried or be reconciled to their spouse. The one exception is if the divorce is due to the spouse committing adultery (Matthew 19:9).
I am puzzled why someone would claim that investigating whether someone is involved in sin is a sin. I cannot think of a passage that would apply. Rather, we are encouraged to learn the facts before making a judgment (Deuteronomy 13:14; Job 29:16; Proverbs 18:13; John 7:51).
Response:
Jeffrey,
Thank you so much for the quick response and clarification. I understand it a lot better now.
I contacted my brother regarding the church's comments on it being sinful to pursue answers via a private investigator. He said they felt he was looking for an excuse to divorce her. He denies this as his reasoning and wants closure on a situation he cannot control. My brother said she doesn't respond to calls or texts, so he has no idea where or what she is doing. He wants to know if she moved on with someone else so that he can move on with his life.
Either way, I passed this information on to him, and we chatted about it all, but it is up to him. I've given him the scriptures you listed about finding the facts before making a judgment to help him come to a decision he feels is right.
Again, thank you so much for your help, and may God bless you always.
