Can I remarry if I encouraged my wife to see other men before I became a Christian?
Question:
Before I was a believer I had encouraged my wife to have sex with another man in the twisted idea that it would bring a spark back into our poor sex life. In essence, I was encouraging her to become a "swinger". Well, she eventually did just that but also fell in love with this man. I tried for years to fix this and get her to stop after I repented of my sin in many tears, but she decided to leave me and stay with him.
I understand that she is in an adulterous relationship and someone who commits adultery can never marry again. I also understand that the spouse who did not commit adultery is free to marry a believer. I understand the word pornea to include more than adultery. I think it would include things like illicit sexual intercourse, adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals, and incest. So considering that pornea covers many sexual sins would what I did by encouraging my wife to be a swinger disqualify me from a remarriage?
I didn't commit any of the above sexual sins but I did break my marriage covenant by encouraging my wife to have sex with another. However, I did not "force" my wife to do this. She should not have listened to me.
Thank you.
Answer:
You are guilty of encouraging your wife to sin. But that encouragement was not pornea. Pornea is sexual acts outside of marriage. Your wife is guilty of that sin. You were guilty of encouraging her.
You turned from your sin, though I do not know if you have fully done what God said is needed to gain forgiveness of your sins. See What Must I Do to be Saved?
Sadly your wife embraced her sin, instead of turning from it. I assume your marriage ended in divorce? While you are not guilt-free, and few are when divorce is involved, technically you would be allowed to marry again.
