Any advice for a single Christian?
Question:
Hello,
I came across the "Hope for the Future" article, and it resonated with my current situation.
At 28 years old, I have not yet had my first relationship. I've dated before but have not yet found the right one. As a Christian, it can be discouraging to see non-Christians seeming to have flourishing relationships despite having sex outside of marriage, having children outside of wedlock, and shacking up. I intend to save myself for marriage, and I don't believe in living with someone before marriage. Living righteously pays off in the long run, and the wicked eventually meet an end. Sometimes, it does not seem like it, especially when I see many people living life on their own terms, not fearing God, and not seeking Him first. Yet, the blessings of a relationship seem to come easily for them and feel out of reach for me even as I try to live righteously and avoid sinful situations. I know of people who have had more than one child out of wedlock with different partners and yet are on their third or fourth relationship, which appears to prosper despite living together unmarried. I've heard of people who cheated on their partners and yet stayed in their relationship, which seems to continue happily, unaffected by the infidelity. I understand that blessings are also given to the wicked and not just to the righteous; the sun shines on the bad and the good, and it rains on the just and unjust (Matthew 5:45). I try not to become discouraged when I see people in these situations seeming to easily obtain one relationship after the other and prosper despite not waiting until marriage to have sex or live together. I have yet to find a relationship while intending to wait until marriage to have sex or live with someone.
Even though I'm discouraged in the relationship aspect of things, I'm thankful for the many blessings God has given me. Knowing that holding onto God's wisdom is ultimately a blessing and the better route as opposed to following the ways of the wicked encourages me, although it can be frustrating to see others who don't follow His wisdom seem to prosper in their relationships despite living together in sin.
Any other advice or thoughts you can add to this are appreciated.
Thank you.
Answer:
I understand the frustration. I see the problems daily. I've often toyed with the idea of creating a site for Christians to meet, but I get stuck on how to manage it and minimize dangers.
Regardless, the Bible repeatedly warns us not to envy the wicked. Their path in life is filled with short-term gains that generally leave them in a worse state. In the long run, they destroy themselves (Psalms 73). Yes, they have relationships, but almost all of them do not last. Being in three, four, or more relationships is not a sign of success. Yes, they have children, but those children experience broken homes and often a lack of a father in their lives. And what you see from the outside doesn't come close to matching the hardships and arguments that are taking place behind closed doors. Ultimately, a focus on worldly things tempts people away from righteousness.
Hang on and keep looking. A bad relationship is not better than what you currently have. Visit other congregations and attend meetings. Many of the brethren hold get-togethers for young adults. Join online discussions on various Bible topics conducted by members of the church. By being visible, you are more likely to find someone.
