Question:

There was a lady I was dating before I was born again. Both of our parents knew we were dating and they really supported it. Along the way, I was saved. Soon I took her to the church where I was attending and she was born again too. After we both were born again we still have sex sometimes, which I know God doesn't want.

Please advise me on this. I really love her and my family loves her too. I am planning to get married to her soon. I hope I am not going to make God angry by marrying her after we have committed a lot of sin together.

Answer:

My first concern is that you were involved in fornication prior to becoming a Christian and continued afterward. Becoming a Christian involves several changes in life: learning and developing faith (Romans 10:17), being willing to admit your faith (Romans 10:8-10), changing your attitude regarding sin and your behavior (II Corinthians 7:10-11), and being baptized (Acts 2:38). All this combines to a person becoming a new creature, being born again. (See Are You a Born Again Christian?) It sounds as if you thought you can claim to be a Christian without really changing.

"Or do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus have been baptized into His death? Therefore we have been buried with Him through baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection, knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin; for he who has died is freed from sin" (Romans 6:3-7).

I agree that you ought to marry, but until that day, it is more important that you change and become a true follower of Christ. God won't be angry because you do the right thing and marry her. His anger is for those who ignore His laws. In other words, you are currently facing God's anger by your choice to sin. Change and God offers forgiveness (I John 1:8-2:1).

Response:

Thanks so much, sir.

I have stopped having sex with her until I marry her. I know that sex before marriage is not right.

Thanks for the advice, sir. I would like you to say a word of prayer for me, sir.

Answer:

I'm glad to hear you are willing to change, and I pray that you become a strong Christian and a good husband.

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