My question is why do people always say when evil things happen, they believe God is using these evil events to strengthen the one who is being maliciously attacked by another, or who has no will or intent in serving or obeying God anymore?
Why do Christians always say God uses tragedies and evil like these as a means to strengthen or test an individual who already had a desire to follow God? Is it that difficult for them to know that all these are from Satan coupled with someone who doesn’t want anything to do with God anymore?
Sir, isn’t there a difference between temptation and a trial or persecution? The dictionary shows they don’t mean the same. Temptations we are given a way to readily say "no" to, but trials from without, how do you say "no" when it’s not in your power to stop the events?
I loathe when well-meaning Christians say this to me when in my mind I know all this had nothing to do with God. It was not God's will for someone to get married (even if they mistakenly chose the wrong spouse) and then God then cause events that lead to divorce to strengthen an individual.
I’m so confused and it almost makes or leads me to have hatred (ultimately full unbelief) toward God, but I know deep down in my mind when I’m automatically flooded with parts of and events in Scriptures that oppose this view.
For example, nowhere in Scripture did God lead Israel to do evil nor did He send the surrounding nations to attack Israel, when they were in obedience, to strengthen them. The only time God sent Israel's enemies to attack them is when they turn from Him and while within their disobedience He gives them much warning with signs and by prophets before He then takes drastic actions.
Neither did Christ follow this line of thinking that He would use evil to strengthen you while you are obeying Him. Even with the apostles and early Christians when evil came from without to consume Christians, God would make a way for them to flee to other parts of the world but nowhere have I read that God instigated these evils sovereignly to strengthen Christians. Do these Christians even forget that this same deluded strengthening they claim that a lot of early Christians got killed by Christ's enemies? Will they then say it was God's will hence He used the evil to kill them?.
I also realize those who always like throwing the term "God is sovereign" probably don’t know what they are talking about. They seem to attribute the event of evil to God.
Sir, this is one thing that hasn’t made me say to God: "Let me just live my life and enjoy myself after all you are God who readily forgives," because I know it is not from Him at all but from Satan and my treacherous ex-wife who wanted to be with another man that was worldly and hated God. I tried to stop her many times and asked her to come back home before I proceeded with the divorce, but her rebellion, Satan, and the man won her over, albeit even now she still believes she is a Christian even though she broke her marriage to pieces because of her willingness to please herself and run into adultery and start living with another man.
Also well-meaning Christians almost force you into forgiving someone who doesn't care for your forgiveness nor wants anything more to do with you or your life. They want you to go seek this person out and extend your forgiveness to them like you are God or being the holier person by forgiving such types like my ex-wife. If she has repented, apologizes. and ask for forgiveness that's an entirely different issue. Until then, why should I do anything but just continue in the straight and narrow path with God?
You have things partially correct, but I believe you overlooked the case of Job. Job was a righteous man and God allowed Satan to bring hardships into Job's life. Throughout the book, Job wanted to face God to ask Him why. In the end, Job does face God and realizes he was in no position to question God. And what is interesting is that Job is never told why all those calamities fell upon him.
It is true that God does not tempt people to do evil (James 1:13), but He does allow Satan to tempt us (James 1:14-16). You are correct that evil doesn't come to the righteous from God, but God does make use of evil to further His ends. "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing" (James 1:2-4). God can take the evil the world dishes out to accomplish wonderful things. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). The types of things Paul had in mind were hardships: "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?" (Romans 8:35).
Hence, God isn't the cause of evil, but it is incorrect to say that He doesn't make use of evil. "For My name's sake I will defer My anger, And for My praise I will restrain it from you, So that I do not cut you off. Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction" (Isaiah 48:9-10). Hopefully, through each trial you face, you come out on the other end a stronger follower of God. During those trials, we have to face our weaknesses and our shortcomings, but those are opportunities to learn, to be strengthened, and to be humble because we realize we are not perfect.
You are right that it wasn't God's desire for your wife to leave you. It was completely against His will. Yet, God can take this evil and use it so that in the end something good results from it. Think how He turned the murder of His own Son into something completely marvelous -- the saving of all mankind.
You are right that you cannot offer forgiveness to someone who does not believe they have done wrong. You have made attempts at reconciliation, but those attempts were turned down. When someone does us evil, it doesn't mean we ignore the evil and let the person continue in sin without some warning. The ultimate goal should always be that each person we met, no matter how mean, is someone we want to see saved. "Knowing, therefore, the terror of the Lord, we persuade men; but we are well known to God, and I also trust are well known in your consciences" (II Corinthians 5:11).