While stoned, I received and gave oral sex. Does this mean I’m a homosexual?

Answer:

If I asked you when you began to sin in this incident, what would you answer? When you received oral sex? When you gave it? Yes, you messed up, but the problem is deeper than you want to admit.

"Therefore let us not sleep, as others do, but let us watch and be sober. For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk are drunk at night. But let us who are of the day be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet the hope of salvation. For God did not appoint us to wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ" (I Thessalonians 5:6-9).

Staying sober is critical for any Christian because Satan is just waiting for a moment of weakness, a time when you aren't thinking straight, an instance when you are not alert to pull you deep into sin.

"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour" (I Peter 5:8).

Your problem starts with the fact that you think you can smoke pot and remain faithful to Christ. Marijuana messes with your mind, not only when you smoke it, but it continues to affect the way you think for weeks afterward. You cannot serve Christ and smoke weed at the same time. You sin because marijuana is illegal (and for good reasons) and a Christian is not to break the law "Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves" (Romans 13:1-2). Even if it were legal, you further sin by not remaining sober as God requires of you.

One of the effects of marijuana is that the user's inhibitions are lowered. You don't make sound judgments when you are stoned, and you are willing to do things you normally would reject. In addition, a pot-smoker, while high, tends to be compliant with suggestions. It is sort of like being hypnotized. You are willing to do what someone tells you to do. "Marijuana can lower inhibitions and impair judgment. Lowered inhibitions have been known to result in unprotected sex, increased possibilities of sexually transmitted diseases, and potential unwanted pregnancies" [National Drug Council - Marijuana Facts]. Marijuana "decreased social inhibitions that can increase exposure to risky situations" [Rutgers Health, Marijuana]. This is what you experienced. You decided to engage in homosexual acts, which you normally would refuse.

Like many people, you have bought into the notation that homosexuality is equivalent to gender. It isn't. It is a choice to engage in sexual acts with people of the same gender. In this way, it is equivalent to fornication or adultery (technically it falls under the broad category of fornication). "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10). That what you did keeps replaying in your mind is expected. A person who commits murder, steals, or has sex outside of marriage is going to be haunted by the guilt of what they did -- I'd be concerned if a person could sin and not be bothered by their sin.

Still, sexual sins have an aspect to them unlike other sins; even though we know they are wrong, the fact remains that it gives our body pleasure. "Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body" (I Corinthians 6:18). It is that conflict between abhorring what we did and simultaneous finding pleasure in the memory that causes so many people to doubt their moral judgment. Too many people make moral decisions based on emotions and they can't resolve how something that feels good can be harmful.

What you did was sinful, but it doesn't mean you are slated to repeat that sin for the rest of your life. Because a person stole, does that mean he is now a thief for the rest of his life? If a boy has sex with a girl without being married, does that mean he is a fornicator for the rest of his life? Then why accept the notation that because you did homosexual acts while stoned that you are a homosexual for the rest of your life? After listing all those sins that some Corinthians had done in I Corinthians 6:9-10, Paul followed it by saying, "And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God" (I Corinthians 6:11). No sinner need stay in his sins. That is what Christianity is about.

You are off track, so get back on the path of righteousness. Stop the drug use. Stop chasing after sensuality. Start living as your Lord commands.