What if I change my gender and marry my best friend?
Question:
Hi,
I have someone who I love deeply. He is more of a best friend because of how we experience each other. He is like a friend or best friend than a lover, which is a spouse. I want more than anything to get married, have a child, and have a family. But I don’t know if God would accept me or love me because I am a male and my friend is male as well. That’s why I am going to become transgender so I can get married and have a family with him because I love him so deeply that he is more than a best friend.
I can’t lose him because he has helped me, supported me, been kind to me, and more. I have had a bad childhood with my family and old friends. I don’t know if God would accept me or not. Would God still love me even though I am quite different from a homosexual? I understand all of God’s commandments: no lust, sexual immorality, and no homosexual sex. I go to church, pray and sing.
I just don’t know what to do because I can’t lose him no matter what. By the way, I only like him and no one else. I don’t feel attracted to girls or boys. But with this one person, I feel love as a friend or best friend than a lover. We have fun, bond, joy, happiness, and even more.
It’s just that I am so scared by the world we live in. A lot of people lust and get involved in sexual immorality. God accepts homophobic sex between males and females. Why can’t God accept homosexual sex? But I understand why. As I said, I am quite different. It is my feeling that I experience deep in my heart, spirit, or even my soul. I know love is patient.
Answer:
A transgender does not become the opposite sex. A male cannot become a female. Oh, a male might disguise himself with hormones and surgeries so that he might appear to be female but he remains a male. Males cannot conceive and bear children. Females are born with ovaries and all the eggs they will have for a lifetime. Males are born with testicles that produce sperm daily once adolescence is reached. Surgery cannot give you ovaries with your DNA. Your DNA remains male.
In other words, a transgender is lying to himself and the world as to what kind of person God made him to be. God strongly stands against all lies (Revelation 21:8). Rather than fight God, you need to accept and appreciate who you are.
One of the reasons homosexuality is condemned in the Scriptures (Romans 1:26-27) is because homosexuals are fighting against how God made them and the role they are expected to fulfill.
It is good that you have a close friend and there is nothing wrong with a man loving other men as friends. It is wrong, however, for a man to have sex with other men because this is denying the purpose of sex that God created. Disguising your gender so you can marry a male is using a lie to gain homosexual sex. What is worse is that it won't give you what you desire. The hormones and surgeries will damage your body's ability to feel sexual arousal because the nerves will be severed. You might look like a woman but you will never experience life as a woman because your body will remain a male internally. Nor will you be able to go back to life as a male because your body will have been damaged by that point.
Marriage doesn't make homosexuality right. It is God who sanctifies the union (Matthew 19:4-6). God never acts against His own laws.
When you fight against God, you never win. "There is no wisdom and no understanding and no counsel against the LORD" (Proverbs 21:30).
Therefore, drop all the lies and embrace the truth. You have a really good friend who has been there for you through all the difficult times in your life. Hopefully, you'll remain friends as you continue through life. Find wives, have families, and perhaps your children will be close friends too. Embrace God's way and life will become better than you imagine.
