What I Learned from My Daddy

by Bobby Graham
via Biblical Insights, Vol. 14 No. 8, August 2014

As the oldest son of Leon and Mary Graham, I learned much from them. Natural learning occurred daily in life’s laboratory, where God’s Word was stressed, and right living was the natural product of this teaching. I never doubted Daddy’s love, though I confess its ways sometimes appeared difficult for a young boy to appreciate. Much was learned in an environment different from that of today’s youth, but they could profit from some of these lessons. Such lessons are best understood, appreciated, and applied by children when parents work together to teach them.

• I learned to work hard and to value work. Work included caring for livestock, plowing with a horse, digging post holes, repairing fences, working in the garden, picking cotton while Don swung on the tree limbs in the shade, and even “digging a hole and filling it up to keep the boys busy when there is nothing else to do.” I can hear Daddy now if he had found one of us standing around with nothing to do but scroll a cell phone or send a text.
• I learned to enjoy playing because he played with us and encouraged various kinds of play. I left the stellar performances to my three brothers.
• I learned that serving God and doing right to others was the most important way to live. While Daddy was not a perfect man, he tried to be an exemplary leader.
  I learned to persist in a good thing. Whatever was worth doing needed to be pursued, not dropped or discarded as worthless.
• I learned to hate tobacco and strong drink in a day when drugs were virtually non-existent, but dangers to avoid in college, the Army, and life, but he avoided them.
• I learned how to treat parents because he always cared for his parents. He was preparing me to care for Mother and him in the later years.
• I learned how to be generous in giving to the Lord’s work. I well remember his and mother’s decision when I was under ten years old to increase their contribution at the Poplar Street church, because he thought they needed to give more.
• I also learned to be honest in handling what was not mine. Because he served as treasurer at Poplar Street, we counted money on the coffee table at home on many Sunday nights. It was important that we handle that money scrupulously because it was not ours.
• I learned by observing Daddy that an elder was more than a figurehead - he must teach, refute, warn, and urge saints to do right, never content to leave such to the preacher.
• I learned to care for the needy.
• Different times in life, he handed his widowed sisters money they might need or asked Mother to write them checks to help in tough times. Orphans and others were sometimes the objects of his help. He had learned this from his own parents, who took in two cousins whose parents had died, making 13 children living with them on Cedar Creek.
• I learned to save money and anything else you might later need, like a nail or a screw you found. He grew up in difficult circumstances, saving and reusing whatever he had or found that he could use. When cleaning out his house a couple of years ago, I thought we would never reach the end, partly because of all he had saved.
• I learned much about the family in earlier days, motivating my family tree work.
• Another lesson I learned was to teach people what they needed to know, not necessarily what they wanted to hear, but to do so kindly. With that lesson in mind, I urge all to examine their lives in light of the gospel and make the needed changes to become a Christian or to follow Him more closely. Faith in Jesus as divine means trusting His teaching to obey. No one is a Christian just because of American citizenship, family legacy, or personal preference.
• I learned to enjoy spiritual songs. Daddy sang most of his life. He enjoyed going to congregational singings and singing at home when family came, as well as at Columbia Cottage and Mitchell-Hollingsworth. Only during his declining days at Tut Fann did I never hear him sing or hear about his singing.
• Finally, I learned to stay married because God desires it. America fails to honor God this way, but my parents stayed married. They were spiritual examples.

Yes, I learned many things from Daddy that are not mentioned in this list. Some were more important than others, but all were valuable. Some of it pertained to this life, but some to the life to come. Our world needs to listen to what Daddy taught me. Thank you, Daddy, for teaching me.