What can I do about my boyfriend’s daughter, whom I can’t stand?
Question:
My boyfriend and I are both scripturally divorced Christians. He has a daughter who is in her twenties, married, and pregnant with her second child. Her husband travels for his job, and because they are building a house, she and her daughter live with my boyfriend.
I try to mind my own business, but this young woman really aggravates me, and I finally said something about it. She nor her husband contribute at all and expect him to baby-sit all of the time. When I am at the house, I find myself doing things for this child that her mother should be doing, while she finds petty excuses to leave her there with us, such as going to water their dog, who is kept penned behind the house they have just begun building, going to the store, or going to wash her car. We can't even go out to dinner anymore without her tagging along, and of course, her father footing the entire bill. When I pay, I end up paying for her, too.
Long story short, she and her husband were denied several bank loans before they finally found one that required my boyfriend to co-sign, and they like to tell everyone how they have taught their two-year-old daughter to ask God for a bank to give them money. Is this appropriate, or am I just so annoyed by her other manipulative behaviors that I am making too much of it? When I pointed out how I felt about this prayer to him, he had no excuse for it. For the record, he is annoyed by her behavior, too, but will not say anything, and has never told her that he has caught her husband stealing cash from him; after all, this is his little girl.
I apologize for the rant, but again my question is, is it appropriate to teach your toddler to ask God for a bank loan?
Answer:
You know it isn't appropriate. You don't need me to tell you this. "You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures" (James 4:3).
I hope you realize that boyfriend or husband, this behavior is going to continue. He will always support his daughter first and turn a blind eye to her sins. If you decide to marry him, she will be a part of the package. So will the loan. The daughter and her husband couldn't get a loan because they are unable to pay off such a loan. By co-signing, your boyfriend took on the obligation of the loan without the benefits. When the daughter and her husband default on the loan -- something that is likely to happen -- your boyfriend will be making the payments. But he won't be able or willing to try to recover his losses by selling the house because his name won't be on the deed, except possibly as a lienholder. That is why God said, "A man devoid of understanding shakes hands in a pledge, and becomes surety for his friend" (Proverbs 17:18).
If you can't stand his daughter, then I recommend that you find someone else to date.
