We know that sex before marriage is wrong, but we aren’t able to abstain and we can’t get married
Question:
Hello,
I am a girl who is in love with this boy. We have a child together. It has been shown to us and we now know that it's wrong to have sex before marriage. We feel guilty every time we do it. We have tried so many times to abstain, but we keep on falling. We somehow get weak. We know of a Scripture that says if a man fails to hold himself he must marry, but it's impossible for us now because we both are unemployed. We both wish to marry, so please we need some advice.
Answer:
"But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (I Corinthians 7:8-9).
So often people try to excuse themselves from following God's laws by claiming they are impossible, or at least very hard to obey. But in reality, it is the person who is putting additional restrictions on himself who is making the law hard to follow.
For example, you are repeatedly committing fornication; yet, my guess is that you are living with this boy, putting temptation in front of you constantly, and then are disappointed that what naturally happens happened. It isn't "somehow," you start the sequence that leads to intercourse and aren't able to stop the train. Yet, you are convinced it should be stoppable, never taking into consideration that you are trying to stop too late. Again, you make the task harder by trying to compromise and only go partway.
In the same way, you placed a requirement on yourselves that you have to be employed to get married. So how is it that you are surviving now? How is it that you can't survive in a similar fashion and be married? The cost of getting married is not high in most places if you are willing to take an inexpensive civil marriage. Too often it is the couples' demand for a large wedding that drives the cost out of their reach, but God doesn't care about material things -- it is the exchange of vows before God and witnesses that creates a marriage.
Question:
Thanks for the advice. We are both under parental help; that is how we survive living. I am still studying and he is done studying and applying for jobs. So in that way, we will have self-control.
Thank you.
Answer:
Then discuss with your parents whom you will live with as a married couple until you are able to get out on your own.
