They

by William V. Beasley
via Sentry Magazine, Vol. 17 No. 2, 30 June 1991

"They" is a third-person plural pronoun in the nominative case. "They" is also, oftentimes, an indication of spiritual weakness. A great deal can be learned by listening to how some individuals speak about the congregation to which he or she belong. It is a cause for concern when any member refers to the congregation as "they." It is not too unusual to hear: "They have services at..." "They did not support the meeting well...," or "They decided to..."

The choice of "they" over "we" demonstrates that the speaker is, for one reason or another, not counting themselves as a part of the group. Would you speak of your immediate family by saying, "They normally have dinner at 6:00 P.M.," or would you say, "We eat at 6 o’clock?" To ask is to answer.

We are commanded not to forsake "our own assembling together..." (Hebrews 10:25). Perhaps one reason some Christians (so-called) can absent themselves without regret is because this registers as "When ’they’ assemble together."

When you speak or think of the congregation of which you are a member, is it "we" or is it "they"?

"They Say ..."

"They" is also used to suggest widespread support, which may or may not be a reality. This misuse of "they," which can demonstrate a lack of basic honesty or courage, is so widespread that lexicographers recognize it: "... 2. people (or a person) generally or indefinitely; as they say it’s so" (Webster). Lest you find comfort in what Webster says, remember that Webster also uses the words "or sprinkling water on him" when defining "baptism."

It sounds so much more authoritative when reproving, rebuking, or trying to prove a point to say, "They say..." than it does to bite the bullet and honestly acknowledge "I don’t like...," "My wife was upset when...," or "Brother -------- thinks that..." "They" gives the mistaken semblance of a united action or attitude. "They" can be used, in a dishonest manner, to give credence to the complaints of one or two old grouches, or a like number of young smart-alecks. If what "they" say is important enough to repeat, it is important enough for "they" ("them’) to say it in person to the one or ones of whom the words are spoken.

Frankly, I do not know anyone named "They." Unless and until one is ready to put the names ("they" is plural) in the complaint (rebuke, etc.), the message is best left unspoken. On one occasion, I asked, "Who are ’they’?" and was told, "Well ... lots of people." But, dear reader, I am still waiting to learn who, specifically, "they" or "lots of people" are. Paul did not tell the Corinthians, "'They' say that there are contentions among you...," but, being honest and having a backbone, he wrote, "For it hath been signified unto me concerning you, my brethren, by them that are of the household of Chloe..." (I Corinthians 1:11).

Let your words, as it were, stand on their own two feet. Do not seek to prop them up with the artificial, cowardly, and sometimes dishonest support of "They say ..."