Should I stay with my fiance or go with the guy I recently met?

Question:

Please bear with me as this is long. While searching for my answer I stumbled across one of your previous questions that were somewhat similar, so I decided to write you.

I met my now fiance over five years ago when I was at a low point in my life. I was a drunk, party-crazed, ungodly person who wanted to do better but just never did. I fell in love with him and he was a good man, I changed but not completely. Over the years he became very emotionally abusive toward me due to his own insecurities and stress; he would call me names and put me down and make me feel unattractive and a few times the situation became physical. During this point, neither of us claimed to be Christians and we were most certainly not living the Christian lifestyle.

About a year ago my relationship with God became very strong but, unfortunately, my relationship with my fiance was not built upon a godly foundation. I found myself growing alone and as an individual with God instead of together as a couple. I told God that I wanted to surrender my life to Him and that I would follow His will completely if He would put me in the direction toward it. Shortly after I left my job to work within a church because I felt this was God's will for me and the way the job presented itself to me was very apparent, it was too much to be a coincidence. During this whole time, our relationship had remained much the same as it had always been. He was distant and cold and emotionless.

Recently I was talking to another church member about finding someone to take music lessons from and she suggested a person. I sent a message to this person and we communicated. I was not in the slightest attracted to this man, but there was some form of a connection. I didn't think much more of it until later when he posted that he needed prayers from everyone. I reached out to him and told him I would pray for him; and if he wanted to talk, I would be here. Immediately he opened up to me and I felt I had known this man my whole life. I talked to him in a way I would only talk to my best friend, and we opened up to each other about everything.

One thing led to another, and I slowly began to develop very strong emotional feelings for him. I could not help but feel God wanted me to be with him. He kept stressing that he wanted a relationship centered around God. We even prayed together about this situation in hopes of guidance.

Around this time my fiance started changing. He became so sweet and loving -- the way he was at the beginning of our relationship. I wasn't sure why and then I was trying to decide if that was a sign from God telling me to hold out, or if it was the devil working his way in. Eventually, I sat down with my fiance and told him everything. I told him how I don't understand how I can continue to grow as a Christian when we fight the way we do, and I feel the way I do when I'm around him. I told him about this other man, how I have feelings for him, and how I feel God is leading me toward him. He became very emotional and told me that he was sorry for everything, that he lost himself along the way, and he realized recently what he had done and was trying to change. This was true. He had started changing before I ever told him any of this. He said he wanted us to grow as a couple and to grow through Christ and that he feels we can. My heart is breaking for him. I truly believe he has changed, and he does want to grow together and be a better Christian. It will be hard as we weren't Christians in the beginning, so our relationship together was formed before our relationship with God was formed.

I still feel this urge to be with this other man though. I can't shake it. My fiancee says that he doesn't see how this other man could be the direction God is pushing me because God would not send me someone while I am already involved with someone else. I don't know if that is true since we aren't married. I don't know that God sees a dating relationship as a union the way that we do. Also, I feel it is God putting me with the right person before I decide to marry the wrong one. I am so confused. If my fiance could in fact change and be who he once was -- the man I once fell in love with -- I know we could be happy together, but I can't help but wonder if it's God's will for me to be with this other man. I feel you shouldn't ask for God to show you His will if you aren't willing to take it, but I just don't know how to figure out if it is a clear sign.

Please help.