Should I let the father of my child, who is a drug addict, see our baby?



I am a recovering alcoholic. I started attending church while being a reckless fornicator, alcoholic and pothead. The Lord changed my life completely and eliminated all cravings and temptations to drink and smoke. I decided to leave all my friends and the life I had known because I did not want to be tempted to go back to my old ways.

A month after being sober I met a man at a pet shop. I had never met a Christian outside of the church. My old friends did not believe in God. I was intrigued by the way this man spoke about God. He said God had saved him too from hard drugs, but he still smokes marijuana and drank. At the time I was stupid and was excited to meet a Christian who understood my situation and figured it was only a matter of time before God would save him from the rest of his addictions, just like he saved me. He convinced me to have sex with him. Even though I expressed to him it was sinful, I gave in and we had sex three times in one week.

I realized I was going down the wrong path and that he was not a true Christian following Christ and a bad influence. I cut off all ties with him only to find out two weeks later I was pregnant. The baby is now less than a year old. I have been letting him see the baby once a week. I just found out this week that he has been using hard drugs on top of the marijuana and alcohol abuse. I have told him that he is not allowed to see the baby anymore because I am uncomfortable being around a drug addict and it is not safe for my child to be around one either. He is homeless because he got evicted for not paying his rent. He now lives with two other men in a one-bedroom apartment where he sleeps on the floor. One of the men is his drug dealer.

My question is should I let him see the child? And if so what are the best and safest alternatives?


As you now realize, the mistake you made is assuming that someone claiming to be a Christian actually lives a Christian life. "Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world" (I John 4:1). Actually, you knew he was a hypocrite (someone putting on an act) because he admitted to being addicted to marijuana and alcohol. If you had thought there was a possibility, the sensible thing would have been to tell him to let you know when he fully gave himself over to God and gave up his drinking and drug use.

Though you knew your old friends were dangerous to your commitment to Christ, you did not guard yourself against pretenders and so were lured back into sin. "Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals" " (I Corinthians 15:33). This truth doesn't change. If you don't want you or your child pulled into drugs, neither of you can associate with this man.

Let him know that when he gets his life straightened out -- free of drugs and alcohol for a year or more -- then he can contact you about seeing his child. Until then, you want nothing to do with his current life and it isn't safe for any child.

In the future, keep in mind Solomon's warning: "My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent" (Proverbs 1:10). As soon as someone urges you to sin, you know that this is not a person you need to be with. It doesn't matter how well you like them or what they are offering, leave as quick as possible.


Hi Jeffrey,

Thank you very much for your response. And thank you for the quotes. God bless you.

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