Rash Words

by Doy Moyer

“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18).

Here’s one thought about our need to be careful with our words. What we say publicly reflects upon our spouses and loved ones. If we are constantly complaining about how bad things are, for example, how might this make spouses feel, even if our intention is not to cast shadows on them? In our desire to be authentic and speak our minds, we need to remember that other people who care about us and love us feel the sting of what we say. If we are indicating that we are unhappy or that we feel unloved and unappreciated, for example, how will this impact the ones who love us the most and are trying to give us a sense of peace and safety? Will our words cause them to think they are failing?

Words are powerful. They encourage and lift up, and they can cut down and dishearten. “But that’s not how I meant it.” Perhaps not. I hope not. But speaking out without stopping to consider carefully the impact of discouraging words is not healthy. If we aren’t sure about how our words may come across, then perhaps we shouldn’t say it. If we need to vent, there are options that might spare the hurt we can cause. But love requires us to think first of others, and there may be no more significant place to start than with those who are closest to us.