My relationship with God has always been a roller coaster


Hello and thank you for reading,

I am a 25-year-old man. I was born in a Christian family, my father being a pastor. My relationship with God has always been a roller coaster. There have been times when my faith has been strong and my will was aligned with God's. I would even speak in tongues. There have also been times when I have lived like there is no such thing as a God (addiction to adultery and drugs). I have been walking on the fence my whole life. Over the past month and a half, my faith was renewed like never before and my relationship with God became better than it has ever been. I thought my will was permanently aligned to God's; however, I was tempted with adultery again in the last few days, and I gave in to it again! I tried to resist, but it was like a switch turned on, and I completely forgot my faith. I am so ashamed of what I've done, and I can't tell my family. What can I do for repentance once I have sinned after receiving the Holy Spirit?

Thank you again and God bless.


There are several things incorrect.

First, the religion you are involved in is a charismatic group, such as Pentecostalism. These religions place heavy emphasis on emotions, basically claiming that a person's emotions are leading of the Holy Spirit; yet, the Bible states that emotion is unreliable: "He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but whoever walks wisely will be delivered" (Proverbs 28:26). Nowhere in the Bible do you see God directly people by emotions.

What is called "speaking in tongues" today is not like what the Bible refers to as speaking in tongues. And besides, Paul is very clear that speaking in tongues came to an end (I Corinthians 13:8-10). See: Must you speak in tongues to have the Holy Spirit?

This is why your beliefs have been unstable. Sin does attract through emotions. This is especially true with adultery and drug abuse.  In speaking of the immoral woman, Solomon said, "She does not ponder the path of life; her ways are unstable, she does not know it" (Proverbs 5:6). Speaking of false teachers, we are warned, "But these, like natural brute beasts made to be caught and destroyed, speak evil of the things they do not understand, and will utterly perish in their own corruption, and will receive the wages of unrighteousness, as those who count it pleasure to carouse in the daytime. They are spots and blemishes, carousing in their own deceptions while they feast with you, having eyes full of adultery and that cannot cease from sin, enticing unstable souls. They have a heart trained in covetous practices, and are accursed children" (II Peter 2:12-14).

What it comes down to is that you need to be making decisions based on your knowledge of God's Word and not your feelings at the moment. "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and depart from evil" (Proverbs 3:5-7).

When it comes to seductive sins, you cannot trust your ability to resist. Thus, the only true solution is to avoid the situations -- something you have not been doing. "Therefore hear me now, my children, and do not depart from the words of my mouth. Remove your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house" (Proverbs 5:7-8).

Repentance is not a punishment to pay for a sin committed. Repentance describes a complete change in attitude toward sin and a commitment to a change in behavior. "For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter" (II Corinthians 7:10-11).

The gift of the Holy Spirit comes when you obey God's commands and receive the gift of salvation from the Spirit (Ephesians 1:13-14). See The Gift of the Holy Spirit. It isn't an emotional high but a deliberate decision to submit your will to that of Christ's in all things.

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