My parents don’t want me to marry the woman I’ve chosen
Question:
I am very sad and confused right now. Please, I need help. I have a lady I am in love with, and she is in love with me. I told my parent about her, and they decided to consult some prophets. Based on the prophets' visions they said I should not marry. They are seriously at war with me when I told them I am not basing my life's decision on what some prophets said. I am a Christian and a member of the church of Christ. I refuse to believe in prophecies.
My father has stopped answering my calls. My mother keeps telling me that if I want to make them happy and get their blessing for my marriage, I should not marry this lady. They gave an instance of prophecies that have come to pass.
Please, sir, I don't know what to do. I am frustrated and sad.
Answer:
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).
It is you, not your parents, who will be establishing a new family with the woman you marry. Your parents can be a great source of advice, which ought to be considered, but even parents can be wrong. In this case, they did not like your girlfriend, so they thought they could boost their authority by finding "prophets" who told them what they wanted to hear. You and I know there are no prophets today, so instead of boosting their authority, they undermined it.
You didn't mention why your parents oppose your girlfriend. Oh, I know they said the prophets spoke against this marriage, but as I said, they were looking for that answer. So why are they against you marrying this girl?
Regardless, in the end, it is your decision -- right or wrong, good or bad. You don't need your parents' approval, though it would be nice to have. In fact, before you marry, you are supposed to become independent of your parents anyway: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother ..." If this is the woman you want by your side the rest of your life, then go marry her. Be polite and invite your family to the wedding. If they show up, good. If they don't, it is their loss.
You might have to minimize your contact with your parents after your marriage to keep them from interfering. You might have to learn to live independently of their advice and help. It is would be sad, but it isn't impossible to do. What I suspect is if you are right and they are wrong, eventually they will drop the matter. They might not ever apologize, but they will offer peace because they will want to be a part of your life and they will want to see their grandchildren.
