My husband has been drinking and cheating, and I don’t know what to do

Question:

Good morning, sir,

I hope you are well. Please be patient with me. Life turns on me, and I end up not knowing even that which I thought I knew.

I am crying as I type this. I am caring for my youngest child while I work a full-time job from home. I'm also taking classes. Today, I am on a study leave because I have a test tomorrow, for which I have barely prepared. I managed to get my children to live with my husband and me, instead of with my mom, who is several hours away. My son was baptized with the help of the church leaders in our local congregation.

A few years ago, my father-in-law passed away. When I reflect on this, I realize my marriage has not been the same after that event.

A few days ago, I looked at my husband's phone and saw he was texting women, flirting with some of them, and drinking with some of them. He had a phone number, which I assume belonged to a woman, with whom he seemed to be video calling daily, and more than once a day.

Previously, a woman called my husband while we were traveling. This woman called him for three hours straight. He claimed they are just friends, but I don't think that even I, as his wife, would feel so entitled to call him, to the point of calling him for three hours straight. Soon after that, he started to have weekends when he wouldn't sleep at home.

Nonetheless, I stayed. My husband was never sorry or anything, but for my sake, I decided to forgive him while he was not sorry. I begged him to stop. He promised that he would. However, earlier this year, he started sleeping away from home again. He claimed to have been with his friends. Throughout the year, on weekends, I wonder if he will sleep at home or not. Now, seeing those chats with women made me realize that this man no longer loves me. I now look back and realize that he was never sorry because he didn't believe he had done anything wrong.

Perhaps I should leave the house with the children so he can be with these women. But where do I go with children who are currently in school? They can't just change schools in the middle of the school year. I certainly would not be able to afford to pay for everything if I leave.

What is more painful is that I love my husband. I am ready to forgive him, if only he were sorry and repentant. But he is not. So do I stay and let him treat me like a doormat? I am afraid that if I stay, I am going to end up resenting him, that our marriage is not going to be a safe place anymore. This is hurting me emotionally and is affecting my mental health.

My husband has become what I left my ex for: cheating and drinking alcohol. But my husband is a Christian. I don't know why or how he lives in sin and attends church on Sunday as if all is well. I am not judging him, but how am I expected to worship in the same congregation with him?

Last year, I told my father about my husband's behavior, and my father suggested we get counseling from the church, which we did last year. It seems it was all in vain. No changed behavior at all. At this point, I think my husband doesn't respect our leadership in the local congregation anymore. He doesn't respect God anymore. The things of God take the back seat. He would rather take time off to be with his friends (non-Christians) than take time off for a church event.

I don't know what to do anymore.

Thank you in advance, sir.

Kind regards.