My family doesn’t like my girlfriend and her family doesn’t like me. Should I marry her or the woman my father wants me to marry?
Question:
I love a girl. My dad does not like her because she is Russian and I am Indian. We both are Christians. Her father does not like me because I am an Indian. Should I marry her or marry the girl that my dad wants me to marry? At the same time, she is not ready to marry me now. She is young and still in college. I had finished college and am working by Christ's grace. But I am confused. Should I wait for her or should I marry the girl that my dad wants me to marry?
Answer:
Prejudice continues throughout the world in various forms. It can be frustrating for Christians who see people as people. Nationalities, the color of skin, and economic status mean nothing to a member of the kingdom that draws people from all walks of life. "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Galatians 3:28). But old habits die hard. India is plagued with prejudice because of Hinduism and its caste system.
The practice of parents picking a spouse for their children is not necessarily bad, but in order for this practice to work, the parents must have the same beliefs as their children and not caught up in erroneous traditions. Not knowing your dad, I have no idea if he can pick a good wife for you.
Ultimately, the decision of who you marry is your own to make. It is you who must live with your wife for the rest of your life. It would not be fair to a woman to spend your life together resenting the choice your father made.
The decisions you and your girlfriend make will, of course, carry consequences. A decision to marry might likely result in a disconnection from each of your respective families. If not an outright rejection you might find yourselves under constant criticism from family members. Typically that fades with time, but it might take decades. Thus, the question you two must face is whether you want to live life without an external family in order to live together as husband and wife.
