Question:

Hello.

Good day to you. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to read my email.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months. He is sure of me, saying I am what he wants in a woman and in a wife. I feel the same about him. So now we are now just taking the time to know each other a little better since we were friends for a short while before actually dating. He is a wonderful man of God. We have a connection where we can speak about the Bible at any time and discuss matters concerning the things of God. We are both Christians. I would say, mature enough Christians. His Christian journey has been longer than mine. Nonetheless, I still believe I am a mature enough Christian. We don't see each other much because he has work and school, and I have school as well, so it gets a little sticky when it comes to a time for us to meet. Despite this, we keep in touch with each other via text messages or phone calls. We make time for each other as often as we can also. When we go out, it's lovely being around him and we have good conversations.

However, there are times when we make a detour to his house. When we get there, it usually starts off innocent. We talk for an extensive period of time about anything, but never about anything sexual. Sometimes we kiss for a while and then go back to talking. We have never had sex, but we have done other things related to that nature. He was worried because he said he wants to lead to me Christ and not to the bed, so we both repented. Then I ended up going to his house once more after that and something similar happened. Since then, I have not gone to his house. I try to meet him elsewhere.
Despite this, I love being with him, and he says he feels the same way. What I don't want to happen though is for anything sexual to become the nature of our relationship.

My question is: the fact that we have fallen into this form of sin, is this be a sign that we are not meant to be in a godly sense?

Answer:

Inappropriate sexual behavior is not a sign from God. "Let no one say when he is tempted, 'I am being tempted by God'; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone" (James 1:13). What it does say is that neither of you is as strong as you might imagine yourself being, especially when it comes to sexual temptations. It is not uncommon for young people to be overconfident about their abilities to resist sexual temptations.

The typical downfall comes from being focused on one sin and then excusing other sins that lead up to it because it isn't that one sin. This is what was behind Jesus' statement, "but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). The Jews knew that adultery was wrong, but they allowed lust for adultery because it wasn't the actual act. But lust for sin is still a sin because it shows a mental acceptance of the sin (Mark 7:21-23).

Since you know there is a weakness in your ability to resist lust, sexual touching, and lewdness when you are in a private setting, then the simple answer is to avoid the temptation. "Do not enter the path of the wicked And do not proceed in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not pass by it; Turn away from it and pass on" (Proverbs 4:14-15).

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