Is it right to dismiss a preacher because he married a non-Christian?
Question:
Hello,
First, thank you for all you do to answer these difficult questions. They have helped me a lot on my Christian journey.
My question concerns something that happened very recently at my congregation; our youth group had two ministers helping and supporting all the activities (spiritual and recreational), and they were doing a good job.
At that time, one of them was married to another member of the church, and the other was single; unfortunately, the single one just got married to a young woman who attends the church but is not a Christian. Therefore, our elders decided to remove him from leading the youth group, as this "is not the example" they want the youth group to follow when looking for a non-Christian partner for marriage. In addition, he has been "disciplined" and is not allowed to lead any activity for the church or even to lead prayers, the Lord's supper, etc., during worship on Sundays.
He has been told that he has sinned consciously by marrying a non-Christian based on II Corinthians 6:14, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"
As I mentioned, the elders have "disciplined" him, and the congregation has fully agreed and supported that. He has been instructed to repent from his sin, and after that, he will be involved in the activities again, but not as a leader in any ministry anymore. I have heard that he was told his situation would only change in the future if his now-wife became a Christian.
There are very few members like me who totally disagree with that, as we don't see biblical evidence that he has sinned; as we all understand, it's not recommended at all to get married to a non-Christian, and we don't find in the Bible that this is a sin.
Can you please help me clarify what is correct? Also, he is accepting what the elders have told him, but I think he shouldn't; I don't know what to suggest.
Thanks!
Answer:
This will be difficult because the congregation you attend doesn't fully respect the Lord's authority. The church uses worldly recreation to attract and keep members. See:
It also organizes itself differently from the church in the New Testament. It has "Youth Ministers." Where do you find preachers focusing their work on young people? See:
- Professional Preachers
- Are things, like youth groups, camps, interns, fellowship halls, etc., inherently bad?
Your elders "disciplined" someone they think sinned, but they did not follow the New Testament teaching on discipline. They left the person they think is in sin as a member. See:
If being married to a non-Christian is a sin, then is the church being consistent? Is everyone married to a non-Christian barred from serving in the church? What are they doing with passages that teach that deal with Christians being married to non-Christians (I Corinthians 7:12-16; I Peter 3:1-6)?
The person was told to repent, but nothing was asked of him to change. True, they want his wife to be a Christian. That is something everyone would want, but it is the man who is charged with sin. What is he supposed to do other than what he is already doing?
It doesn't look like you are attending a faithful congregation for so many reasons, so I doubt that anything you point out to people from the Scriptures will sway them. Perhaps it is time to look for a faithful congregation to attend.
Question:
Hi,
Thanks for the prompt response; regarding (I Corinthians 7:12-16; I Peter 3:1-6) the elders have said that these verses of the Bible apply for people that hear the Gospel, get baptized and become a Christian when they are already married but not for a member of the church that consciously get married with a non-christian.
Is that explanation correct?
Thanks again!
Answer:
Yes, it can happen that one spouse becomes a Christian and the other refuses, leading to a Christian being married to a non-Christian. However, that is not the only way it can happen. Nor do Paul in I Corinthians 7:12-16 or Paul in I Peter 3:1-6 state how a Christian finds himself in a situation married to a non-Christian. To add their opinions to what God stated is dangerous. They are not drawing a necessary conclusion. To add in qualifiers that God did not give is to make dangerous assumptions.
They declared that marrying a non-Christian is a sin. The passage they cite (II Corinthians 6:14-7:1) doesn't discuss marriage. It talks about not getting into situations where a non-Christian has power over a Christian. Marriage is about two equals entering into a union. I suppose you might argue that the husband, as head, has some authority over the wife, but notice that it doesn't match the situation they are complaining about. It was a Christian man who married a non-Christian woman. You and I both agree that it isn't a wise decision. It can lead to all sorts of difficulties, but it cannot be called a sin when other passages talk about dealing with a Christian being married to a non-Christian and specifically stating that they are not to leave their spouse.
Response:
Thank you so much!
In addition, the elders have communicated that he is no longer a member of the church until he repents. Then, he will be welcome as our brother in Christ, but he will not preach or lead anything until his wife becomes a Christian (if that ever happens).
We are really close, and he is thinking about proceeding with that, but I have told him that he will be accepting that he sinned. I think his best option is to look for another congregation, as you mentioned (and that is also the best option for me).
Thanks.
