I’m worried that I might not find a husband

Question:

Good morning,

I lived my life believing in God and wanting to do God's will. I focused my studies on what I believed was God's will for me, and in my personal life, I tried to help others when I could. I've tried to attend a church that focuses on following the Bible. Unfortunately, I have never met a man my age with similar beliefs and values. My church is mainly composed of married couples and the friends I have made through the years who are also married. As a result, I do not date much because I do not really meet single men, and if I do, I want to be in a relationship that follows God's will. So I am waiting.

I'm very worried and scared because I am older and I always prayed for the dream of being married and having my own children and family. I don't really have many years remaining for that. I do weekly prayer and Bible studies online now (because of Covid) and even though I try not to be, I am sad because I don't know what to do other than pray and give this blessing request to God as I have every year and the years are going by quickly.

I appreciate your advice. Thank you for your help.

Answer:

I constantly hear from both men and women about their concerns regarding not being able to find a suitable companion, so you are not alone with this problem. It is finding someone that is a problem.

Dating apps don't really work because they draw all sorts of people and it is hard to sort out the legitimate from those looking for prey.

The best advice I know is to continually broaden the number of people you know. A friend of mine recently posted a passage from a book she was reading,

"Never turn down an invitation to a large party simply because you won’t know anyone. Quite the contrary. If someone invites you to a small party and tells you that you will enjoy yourself because you will know everyone there, you might as well stay home. You already know them. You’ve probably worked with most of them in the same office for twenty years. On the other hand, it’s at the big parties where you don’t know anyone that you are most likely to met just that person you’ve been looking for but couldn’t find. The more new people you meet, the greater the chance that you might find that certain person who is just what you are looking for.” [Hollis Hodges, Norman Rockwell's Greatest Painting].

Let your friends know that you are looking for someone to marry because that increases the number of people looking. Take vacations and visit other congregations. Visit congregations in your region. Often there are "events" where people come to from all around, and they are another chance to meet more people. Join discussion groups. I have heard of a number of Bible study groups going online because of COVID, but in those, you can meet people from all over. Join groups related to hobbies that you like. Somewhere along the line, you'll meet a special someone.