I’m in love with a man who has a girlfriend whom he got pregnant. Should I marry him?
Question:
Hi,
I am 30 years of age, born again, having a boyfriend near my age also born again. We are related according to our culture as our mothers share the same clan name. We deeply love each other and all our conversations are always about God. We help each other to understand the word of God. Wherever we are we always talk about God and His Word.
The problem is we are now romantically in love, even though that doesn’t stop us from preaching the good news about God. He has a girlfriend and I just found out that she is pregnant, and he is hiding it from me. I love him very much, but I feel the relationship is too complicated and sinful, but he always begs me to stay. He is even thinking that we should get married. I don’t know what to do, whether to inform him about his secret or not.
Please help.
Answer:
"Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10).
I'm always amazed how people insist that a person is really good while simultaneously stating the person is acting sinfully. James asks, "Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening?" (James 3:11). Christians occasionally slip up and sin, but the idea that someone is a faithful Christian while continually sinning is false. "Little children, let no one deceive you. He who practices righteousness is righteous, just as He is righteous. He who sins is of the devil, for the devil has sinned from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil" (I John 3:7-8).
By "romantically in love" I am assuming that you mean you two are having sex, which is fornication (Hebrews 13:4). I assume this because you mentioned that he thinks you two should get married. But even if things haven't gone this far, you are saying that he is romantically involved with you and another girl at the same time. You have accepted his attentions knowing that he had a girlfriend whom he was still seeing.
Worse, you now know that he has been having sex with this other girl, has gotten her pregnant, but wants to dump her and his child to marry you. Please explain to me why you think this man is husband material, let alone a faithful Christian?
The man is a sinner. He is irresponsible. Do you think he is the type of man who would be faithful to you when you are married? Marriage doesn't change people. Isn't this the type of man who will have affairs on the side while keeping them hidden from his wife?
Since he has a child, he is responsible for the upbringing of that child. Do you want the other woman and this child in your life?
I would strongly suggest dumping this man and find yourself a real Christian.
