I’m hurt that my daughter wants to buy her stepmother a gift, but never talks about getting a gift for me


I'm hurt that my daughter wants to get her stepmom a gift for Mother's Day. My daughter has never asked me to buy a gift. The step mom is my former husband's mistress who is now his wife, but my daughter doesn't know this. She and my husband were so opened with their affair and that made me angry at the time. I thought I'd forgiven her for what she did to my family, but does this mean that I haven't if I feel hurt by my daughter's decision. It has been a few years since the divorce, but I want these feelings not to come up. They live in another state and my daughter visits only twice each year.

Thanks for your wisdom.


What your former husband and this woman did was wrong, but there is nothing you can do to change the situation. It is natural that your daughter feels closer to this other woman when she spends more time with her. It is a sad situation.

What you are feeling is envy. You want what is being given to another. Envy just leads to bitterness. "A sound heart is life to the body, but envy is rottenness to the bones" (Proverbs 14:30).

"Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled" (Hebrews 12:14-15).

You need to be above this. "Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord. Therefore "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:17-21).

You can't buy your daughter's love, but you can show her what it means to be a godly woman.


You are amazing, as usual. My gift to my daughter is priceless -- the gift of showing godly walking.

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