I want to see a girl, but I think God wants me here. What should I do?
Question:
I have liked, probably loved, a girl for going on seven years, and never really tried to pursue her. There is a problem, she is definitely a desire of my heart, I do desire her, not in a lustful way, I just want to be around her. The problem is she is two hours away, going to college there while I'm in college here. God has told me He wants me here to pursue doing youth ministry type activities, trying to win souls for Him, connect with kids, etc. However, I am worried that if I do not go to see her and pursue her, time might expire and she will find someone else to be with. I would much rather try and fail than to never try at all, but this is kind of interfering with what God is telling me. I really feel it's rare in a lifetime to find someone that you care for so much, that also bothers me. God spoke verbally to me when I was basically at rock bottom and He told me to study John chapter 14. See my dilemma? What do you think?
Answer:
I'm wondering why you are blaming God for your indecision.
Nothing you have stated is so limited that it cannot be both done. A person can win souls for Christ wherever there are souls. Nor is two hours that great of a distance that you can't spend a day each week going over to visit and talk with this young woman. If things work out and you both are interested in each other, then you can decide if it makes more sense to move closer so you can see her more often. You are correct that it is better to try and fail than to wonder what might have been.
To be very blunt, God states He will guide us through the teachings He has given us. Many people left passages out of context to make it appear that God promised direct guidance, but such isn't promised by God. God has given direct guidance, but a careful reading of the Scriptures makes it clear that it wasn't a common everyday occurrence. Nor was a person left to wonder what God wanted them to do.
What happens is that many people take the promises which tell us who is helping us and then assume how that help is going to come. For example, in Romans 8:14 Paul said, "For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God." People instantly start talking about how the Spirit directly talks to them to tell them what to do. But look at the verse again. Paul says that the sons of God are led by the Spirit -- that is who is doing the leading, but he doesn't say how the Spirit leads. To say it is by direct and individual communication is an assumption. But other verses do tell us how the Spirit leads.
""Come near to Me, hear this: I have not spoken in secret from the beginning; from the time that it was, I was there. And now the Lord GOD and His Spirit have sent Me." Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: "I am the LORD your God, Who teaches you to profit, Who leads you by the way you should go. Oh, that you had heeded My commandments! Then your peace would have been like a river, and your righteousness like the waves of the sea" (Isaiah 48:16-18).
"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path" (Psalm 119:105).
These verses tell us how God leads us. The Word of God is the product of the work of the Spirit. "And so we have the prophetic word confirmed, which you do well to heed as a light that shines in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts; knowing this first, that no prophecy of Scripture is of any private interpretation, for prophecy never came by the will of man, but holy men of God spoke as they were moved by the Holy Spirit" (II Peter 1:19-21). When we read the Scriptures we are listening to the guidance of the Spirit. This is how the Spirit leads God's people. See "Led by the Spirit" for lots of detail and scriptural proof.
But so many people don't want to hear this. They want mysticism in their religion. They want "magical" things they can't explain, and so they will ignore the plain truth in pursuit of dreams. "For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables" (II Timothy 4:3-4).
God is involved in your life, my life, and the lives of everyone in the world. Most people don't see that involvement, but it doesn't mean it isn't there. God also made us free moral agents. He gave us the ability to listen to His teachings or to ignore them because He wants people who voluntarily choose to follow Him. In our lives, we are faced with numerous decisions and God has taught us through His Word how to make good decisions. Still, the decisions are our own and we bear the responsibility for what we choose. God works with every person's decisions to accomplish His goals -- that is the power of God. Someone might make a decision that makes my life miserable, but God can use that circumstance to further His aim and make the ultimate result something wonderful for me. "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). If you read the context of this verse, the "all things" Paul is talking about are things like famine, persecution, and wars.
What does it mean for you? If there is someone you are interested in seeing and you can do so without dropping your obligations and commitments, then do so! That is your choice. It might work out, it might not, but you have to take a risk to find out. Trust God, however, to make whatever happens to work out for the best in the end.
