I still struggle with sin
Question:
Hi,
I came to your website to get answers to hard questions in life, and it is a blessing that you are willing to address the questions of people no matter their background. I have been baptized in the church of Christ so please don't be so hard on me because I should know the scriptures. I'm human and I struggle. I had a confusing childhood and was raised in a family where you don't talk about things -- you just keep them to yourself.
Sometimes I read your posts and your replies are the truth, but everybody is not strong as you and have not made positive life choices. We all have different backgrounds, and as an African American, I want to say that it is so hard to overcome the obstacles in life. When you do confess your sins, people look down on you, when you look for people to trust, you find out most people are not trustworthy. When you do struggle most, people judge you by what they hear or think and not really knowing your heart.
I went into sin willfully for a long period of time trying to be accepted by the world. I did not take the time to read the Scriptures or reflect on my life. I saw how most people were living and said I'm nowhere as bad as them, and since I believed in Jesus, I was fine because everybody my age was doing it.
I do pray for genuine love, but most people don't really love you as it says in the Bible. They only love you when they benefited, and I am guilty as well for doing the same thing, so I'm no better than the next. But I do know I have a loving heart and I wanted to confess to you because I have read your articles, and I feel secure talking to you. In life, sometimes we need to know that somebody will listen and the Bible tells me to confess my sins, so here I go.
I have come a long way from sexual immorality but at times I struggle with the sexual thoughts of my past replaying it over in my head. I need to repent and ask for forgiveness because they come out of nowhere and I struggle with my past. Please pray for me.
I sometimes get into the sexual desire and I masturbate, but the only thing I can say is that I rarely get that sexually frustrated as I try to get closer to God. I'm not making an excuse for sin, but I just wanted to be real and let you know I do work on it, but I struggle at times. I'm confessing my sin and asking for repentance, brother. Please pray for me.
I use to smoke weed and cigarettes every day. Now it's like once every three months when I get really stressed or my anxiety is high. I'm not justifying it either, just keeping it real to let you know I am trying brother. But I need to confess and ask for forgiveness. Pray for me.
I have put down rap music, and I'm a music fanatic, but all the killing, cursing, and sexual content is horrible. It is the devil music and I can see that clearly now. It took years to get that out of my system as well, but I try to put only positive things in my ear, but it's a struggle because most people I'm around play nothing but rap. But I need to confess and ask for forgiveness.
I try to stay isolated from the world but sometimes you just want to be around people, and most people struggle with the same things you do, so until they can overcome them, as a Christian you can only be around for a short period of time. Pray for me.
I know this is a lot, but I need your prayers and words of wisdom because I get depressed at times thinking there's no way I'm going to enter heaven. I wanted to be in the world so badly in my younger years and live with no restraints or cares and now I'm almost 40. A lot of sins became normal and just a part of my culture. I just needed to confess and ask for prayers and for some words of wisdom. It's an everyday struggle, but I don't have positive friends because I had to let them go due to the temptations of being around them. Pray for me because when I'm alone, the devil comes for an idle mind.
This email is because I really need someone in the faith to just listen, who could understand and relate because there are so many people on your website with the same struggles. A preacher is one I can confess my sins to. I look forward to a reply when you have time. A lot of it was a confession of my thoughts and my life. I pray you will not judge me and share with me what the Lord puts on your heart.
Thanks, brother.
Answer:
It really isn't about where we've been but where we're headed. All of us have sinned in our past. After all, "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). Some of us may have sinned more often than others, but in God's eyes sin is sin. It all has the same consequence (Romans 6:23). But more importantly, they all have the same cure. "If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin" (I John 1:6-7).
When Satan knows your weaknesses, it can be a struggle to stay out of sin. It sounds like you are fighting hard to stay pure. Just don't give up the fight. "For we have become partakers of Christ, if we hold fast the beginning of our assurance firm until the end" (Hebrews 13:14). The difference between the righteous and the wicked is that the righteous get back up after being knocked down. "For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again, but the wicked stumble in time of calamity" (Proverbs 24:16).
I detect that some of your struggles are not with getting involved in sin, but being haunted by memories of your past sins. There is a difference between sinning and being tempted to sin. Passing thoughts of sin (temptation) are going to happen. See The Nature of Sin, Temptation, and Lust.
Don't slip into the trap of thinking that others need to do their part before you can do yours. Yes, a lot of Christians don't live up to the standards of Christ. As you noted, in truth, we all fall short, but if we wait for others then no one will make it. Thus, the person primarily responsible for my life is me. "So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure" (Philippians 2:12-13). Then you can help others who are also struggling.
It sounds like you have made great strides in improving your life. Yes, there are areas that you see that still need to be improved, but keep working at them. You've made it this far and you can make it further. I will definitely be praying for you.
One last point. Sometimes we get so focused on getting rid of sin out of our lives that we leave a huge hole just waiting to be filled. "Now when the unclean spirit goes out of a man, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, and does not find it. Then it says, 'I will return to my house from which I came'; and when it comes, it finds it unoccupied, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and takes along with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first. That is the way it will also be with this evil generation" (Matthew 12:43-45). Fill your life with so much righteousness that there isn't room for sin to creep back in. "The night is almost gone, and the day is near. Therefore let us lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light ... But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts" (Romans 13:12,14).
Response:
Thank you so much for your response. It means a lot. I will surely reach out to you whenever I need to talk. It is a blessing to have you to confide in. I will continue to fight the fight and read your page and communicate more often. It is a battle but like you said I got to keep on fighting.
Thanks again, brother. May you and your family be blessed.
