I recently found out my boyfriend fathered a child in high school. What do I do?
Question:
God bless you, sir, for the amazing work you are doing.
I have a challenge with my relationship, and I need counseling.
I have dated my boyfriend for two years now, and I believe he loves me. He is always open with me, and he discusses his weaknesses with me. He had issues with girls before he became born again. His parents know me. We are planning to get married next year.
Last week he told me that he got a lady pregnant. He dated the lady when he was in secondary school, and they lost touch for seven years until the lady showed up this year. He is a sincere person.
Please, what can I do?
Answer:
You knew for a while that your boyfriend committed fornication before he became a Christian. The natural result of sexual intercourse is children. It should not be surprising that he got a girl pregnant with his fooling around with sex. What really has changed is that before this woman showed up, his past sins were all theoretical. They could be put on a back shelf and not thought about. But now you have to face the reality of what he had done.
I assume you are confident of his repentance and the change in his life. Past sins can't often be erased or undone and responsibility for those sins must be accepted. He fathered a child, so he is responsible for the well-being of that child until he is an adult. He doesn't have any responsibilities to the woman he had sex with. Some of his possible options are:
- Taking the child in to raise
- Seeing that child is taken care of, either by her being married to another man, being adopted by another family, or supplying funds to help the child.
- Sharing time with the child while the child grows up
If you choose to marry this man, realize that you are also accepting his burdens. You may be called upon to help care for the child or deal with the fact that some of your family income will be going to support the child.
Response:
Thank you very much, sir. God bless you.
