I need your prayers

Question:

Hello,

I would first of all like to say that I was not ignorant of what I was doing. I knew what I was doing and its consequences, but I did it anyway. I know the doctrines of the church and the Bible and I knew what great promises lie ahead for the church and the people of God.

When I entered the university, I had a strong relationship with God. I learned His word and it brought me peace. In my second year, I got into a relationship with a man who was a leader of the church. Sexual immorality with him started gradually until my conscience became dead to that sin. I felt the guilt anyway but I did not change my ways.

About a month or two ago I found out that I was pregnant. I knew what that would do to me. I looked at the disappointment it would bring my family; my mom especially as we had suffered such before from my sister. I looked at how the church would see me with my sins brought to light. We had been taught the Bible’s view on abortion, and I knew what God's take on it was. But I couldn’t bear the shame. I did it willfully and cried many times.

Now, I go to God in prayer but I know my unholiness cannot approach God. It was a willful sin. I did it thinking I could ask for forgiveness after. How can God forgive me for something I did trampling on His grace? I go to church constantly, but I know in my heart God cannot bear to see me. I thought about telling my local preacher, but I was too shy and scared to even see the look on his face. I believe that God listens to the prayer of the righteous and hence I need someone to pray to God with me on my behalf. I am deeply sorry for my betrayal and need to have God on my side again.

I know it was willful. I have no reasons to ask for mercy. But I look at the story of the prodigal son and hope within me that God will spread His arms open for me again.

Can you kindly help me with a prayer for forgiveness?