I married a friend as a whim, being young and foolish. That marriage ended. Do I have the right to remarry?
Question:
Years ago I married a friend of mine without much reason -- just being foolish and young; and not really understanding the truth, the importance, and the value of marriage. I wasn't a Christian at the time and had no knowledge or understanding of what the word of God said about marriage. If I knew any better, I would not have done such a thing.
During the short time of my marriage there was never any type of sexual relation or activity between my husband and me, nor did we ever live in the same house! We had more of a sister and brother friendship than a marriage!
But now I'm lawfully divorced from him, I'm older, wiser, and have moved on with my life. I have gotten saved and became a Christian woman, walking with the Lord, and now have a better understanding of life and truth in itself.
My question today is: is it wrong for me to remarry now that I have found genuine love with someone that's evenly yoked with me? He's also is a Christian man and walking righteously with the Lord. He and I have not had any type of relations at all with one another, just real genuine love for each other and the Lord. I would love to marry this person but not to sure that if we do, would we both be "adulterers"? I don't want to do anything that's unpleasing to my Father in heaven, and I'm not too sure that if my first marriage was considered a real marriage giving to the fact of not knowing what the word of God said about marriage and not having any type of understanding of my actions plus the fact that my first husband and I never had any type of sexual contact with one another whatsoever. Can you please help me with this situation?
Thanks and God bless you.
Answer:
I can only tell you the rules that God gave. The fact that you were not a Christian and didn't pay attention to the vows you gave does not enter into consideration. All the world is under Christ's authority. "And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth" " (Matthew 28:18). Laws do not require your personal acceptance of them for the laws to exist and you to be held accountable to them. Try telling an officer some time, "I never wanted that stop sign there" and see how far that will take you in court. Nor is your word less binding just because you were foolish. You can't tell the bank that you didn't realize how hard the payments were going to be, so the loan ought to be forgiven because you were young and foolish when you signed the papers.
That you did not live together or have sex merely means you failed to do your duties as a wife and he as a husband. But the marriage was made by the covenant you made (Malachi 2:14), not by whether you had sex. It is odd that a man would marry a woman and not want a sexual relationship. I assume that you two did this to bypass the immigration laws -- at least that is usually the reason I'm told. Hence, further sins are added to others.
The only allowance for the endings of a marriage that allows someone to remarry is either death of the spouse (Romans 7:2-3) or divorce because the other person was sexually unfaithful (Matthew 19:9). You mention neither in your case, so I must assume that you have no right to another marriage.
Response:
We actually eloped, and, no, I never went to any type of immigration type thing, it just was a bet that went too far! I deeply regret it. Thanks for your help. God bless you. 🙂
