I lied to my boyfriend about having oral sex with another man. What do I do now?
Question:
Good evening, sir,
I was reading information from your website. I have a little problem and need your help. My boyfriend is always busy with work, and I have complained several times. Unfortunately, I ended up cheating on him by engaging in kissing and oral sex. I apologized to my boyfriend but couldn't go into telling him details. I lied to him by saying that a friend drugged my drink and it ended up in us kissing. He does not know about my doing oral sex. I have prayed to God for forgiveness, never to cheat on him again. I still feel bad I want to know that do I still have to tell my boyfriend about my doing oral sex despite the fact that I have asked God for forgiveness?
Answer:
The problem is that you lied -- not just to your boyfriend, but to yourself and God as well. What you want to do is commit a sin and then claim to have repented of it by keeping the "benefits" of that sin. You weren't drugged, you chose to have sex with a man you were not married to. That is fornication. Because you say gave in to this temptation because your boyfriend is too busy, you are implying that you also are having sex with your boyfriend without being married. "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10). Thus you are committing fornication with one man, lying about committing fornication with another man, and worried about apologizing to the first man. You haven't really faced how much sin you are committing, let alone repent of it.
Sex isn't all right if you do it with a boyfriend. Sex is only permissible in marriage. "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).
The proper thing is to give up all sex until you get married. In regards to your lie, you need to straighten it out by admitting that you did wrong in lying about being drugged.
