I keep repeatedly committing adultery
Question:
I just came back from work and decided to browse on this topic repeated sin and luckily for me, I found myself on your site. I really need your help man of God. I am the worst sinner ever -- an adulterous woman. I am married with kids. I cannot explain how I found myself in this shameful act. I am a believer, and I never believed in my life that I will one day cheat on my husband. When I hear about some married women cheating or having extramarital affairs, I found it very difficult to believe, but here I am doing it. Will God ever forgive me? I found myself doing it over and over again. Please I need help as I would not want to perish. What can I do to live above this sin of adultery?
Answer:
It doesn't make sense to call yourself a believer while actively going against the teachings of God. "And to whom did He swear that they would not enter His rest, but to those who did not obey? So we see that they could not enter in because of unbelief" (Hebrews 3:18-19). That was true of the Israelites then and it remains true today. "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10). Disobedience and disbelief are two sides of the same coin.
God doesn't want anyone lost. He is willing to forgive. "The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance" (II Peter 3:9). In forgiving sins, God treats all sins alike. But it does require repentance. Repentance is not feeling sorry that you've sinned. It is a change of mind regarding sin as well as a change in behavior. "For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter" (II Corinthians 7:10-11). Until you truly believe that what you are doing is wrong, you find yourself repeatedly excusing your behavior -- at least temporarily when you decide you want to do it again.
I can't tell you why you are committing adultery, but I can tell you that it is fully under your control. "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it" (I Corinthians 10:13). You are sinning because you choose to do so. You've never had to do it and you always had the ability to say "No."
Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you need to get determined to change your life. "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction" (Proverbs 1:7). To accept things as it stands is the road to death. The question has never been "Will God forgive me?" God always keeps His word. The real question is "Will I change and serve God?"
